a prophet has no honor

Matthew's gospel reading for today presents Jesus in his hometown, where the locals respond to his teaching with a "just who does he think he is?" attitude. Jesus says, "a prophet is not without honor except in his own native place and in his own house." As a consequence, Jesus is not able to reach the people of his own home town with his wisdom. Is it jealousy? a form of self-loathing? a healthy cynicism? Familiarity breeding contempt? Jesus Christ had a message that was a bold one.. and it seems that many people did recognize the wisdom in his words and in his actions. However, in Matthew's gospel, what seems to be the issue is the heart that refuses to listen... where am I refusing that shaft of light that wants to shine in my heart? (I'll take the answer off-line )

Pictured: on the road near Loch Lomond, Scotland -May, 2009

feast day of Martha

Today is the feasst day of St. Martha. In John's gospel, Martha intercedes on her brother Lazarus' behalf. Lazarus has died and Martha asks Jesus to raise up her brother. Mary had sat at home, while Martha was out on the trail looking for Jesus. In John's gospel, it is Martha's faith and action that result in Jesus' response. In Luke's gospel, Mary is lauded for sitting at Jesus' feet and for listening to him. Martha is burdened with serving and asks Jesus for some help from Mary. As my attention is focused on Martha in these readings, the woman I see is a woman of action, yes! but she is smart too. She is the one who calls forth from Jesus his healing power.. and seeks help for herself from him, too. Her way of being in the world is to be a woman of action. I'm reading a book by Parker Palmer, entitled The Active Life , A Spirituality of Work, Creativity, and Caring....I found the author's definitions helpful: "I understand action to be any way that we can co-create reality with other beings and with the Spirit." " I understand contemplation to be any way that we can unveil the illusions that masquerade as reality and reveal the reality behind the masks." Mary and Martha are truly sisters in this endeavor to live fully. Each reflects an aspect of our humanity that seeks expression. One listens and the other acts. In a simple way, I've found that reading the daily readings allows me to sink into "reality" before I plunge into the laundry and dishes. So, looking for the way that I'm being called to act. The carpet cleaners come in an hour, so I've got to clean house!

matthew's gospel

I'm having trouble with Matthew's gospel. Today's reading presents Jesus' explanation of the parable of the weeds. Matthew is nothing if not hard hitting. Here there is mention of the devil, the Evil One, burning up weeds...Ch. 13, vs. 40-43: The Son of Man will send his angels,and they will collect out of his Kingdom all who cause others to sin and all evildoers.They will throw them into the fiery furnace,where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the Kingdom of their Father. Whoever has ears ought to hear.” My recollection about Matthew from my studies is that he was desperate to persuade the Jews that Jesus was the Messiah and he was frustrated that many were NOT persuaded. So, his rhetoric is more fierce.. as if his message had a time limit. Perhaps that is my discomfort with Matthew. I'm still weighing all the data, and discerning what is worth getting off the dime for.... What is Matthew's message? The phrase that really grabbed me though: "all who cause others to sin"... how do I cause others to sin? through my own actions and my own words? Today, I will be alert to ways that I may lead others down an unhealthy/unholy path.

feeding people

Today's gospel reading is taken from John. It's the one about feeding the five thousand. What struck me... it's Philip Jesus asks the question: how are we to feed all these people? My imagination is drawn to the scene the disciples and Jesus saw: as they stood higher on a hill looking over the valley they could see coming more and more people. What I find touching is that Jesus is concerned about feeding the people.. how will they feed them? There are so many.. is there food enough to provide for them all? That Jesus would give thought to that issue. The people will be hungry and they will need food. That seems to me to be such a basic question, doesn't it? Are you hungry? Are you thirsty? Let's begin there. We human beings ARE hungry every three or four hours, aren't we? For sustenance. Which includes food, community, love. If everyone arrives at the meal recognizing their hunger and their ability to feed another through their own humanity, no one will go hungry. What does that mean? I don't know, I think Jesus knew something we tend to want to forget. Pride. Fear. The usual culprits get in the way. Isn't there some expression like The Heavenly Banquet or The Great Banquet? Gotta look those up.

it's not even been a week

how time stands still or slows down when someone you love is ailing. It's almost as if one's attention is drawn down to the molecular level. When we got the call from Tommy that his chest hurt and that he couldn't breathe, our focus became his lungs. Being that we're not doctors we didn't have a lot of material to work with as we tried to imagine what was going on with him. I knew that it was worthy of a trip to the emergency room, but I was over ruled. He rested, inhaled some albuterol, and then took BART to the Fire and Art Festival at the Crucible in Oakland Sat. night. We saw him on Sunday after I called 911 and had the Oakland Fire Dept. go to his apartment to find him dripping wet from a shower and apparently fine. Moments before, he had called home and after a strange conversation, we lost phone connection. After four unsuccessful attempts to reach him on his phone, I had called the paramedics. Monday he saw his dr. in SF and she said he had a collapsed lung and that he needed to go to the emergency rm. He took BART home and his roommate drove him to Alta Bates hospital, (indeed, 100% collapsed) where he's been for four days. He's had several surgeries there which in the end resulted in a chest tube, an inflated lung,the removal of a bleb, some weight loss, and a temporary dependence on legal drugs. He had great care while in the hospital. Now, we get to take care of him. As much as he'll let us. It's been less than a week since Tommy's lung collapsed, but it feels like we've been living in an alternate universe. We will be in recovery along with him as we return to life as we knew it, which will take some time.

July 19, 2009

When he disembarked and saw the vast crowd,his heart was moved with pity for them,for they were like sheep without a shepherd;and he began to teach them many things. (Mark's gospel, chapter 6 from today's reading.) Now Jesus is teaching. If we are the sheep, and Jesus is the shepherd, what would He want to teach us? How are we lost?

briefly

In Matthew's gospel, chapter 12: Behold, my servant whom I have chosen,my beloved in whom I delight;I shall place my Spirit upon him,and he will proclaim justice to the Gentiles.He will not contend or cry out,nor will anyone hear his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break,a smoldering wick he will not quench,until he brings justice to victory. And in his name the Gentiles will hope. Before these verses we learn that Jesus has been healing people, in fact, it says that he healed all the people. I'm trying to imagine what happened here acc. to Matthew. It sounds like Jesus' approach is to heal and then lay low. He asks the people not to tell anyone about his deeds. He knows he is in deep water, but because he can't help himself, he heals people. He has compassion for the people. That's the Jesus I want to focus on... the heart that loves that much. Someone said recently, Edwina Gately? , that the Spirit reaches us through the cracks in our hearts. Hmmm. Jesus must have had a lot of cracks.

Danny, the dog and Names

"I will take the cup of salvation, and call on the name of the Lord." Psalm 116 Yesterday my "insight" after listening to the readings was "Let God be God". So today's psalm evokes an image of Jewish ritual. The priest or the rabbi holds the cup, asks Yahweh to bless it and gives thanks. Calling on the name of the Lord. I love that! Calling on the name of the Lord. Names are big for the Hebrew spirituality... calling someone by name, I've been told, establishes a relationship then between the two, namer and named. So the person calling on the name of the Lord recognizes the presence of the Other, the Creator, the Lover. This reminds me of hearing my name called. When I was little, my parents would call my name... and I could tell by the tone of voice if it meant dinner, or that I was in trouble, that I had a nice surprise or was being given a chore to do. Friends would have nicknames for me... that was fun, mostly. One friend called me "Betty" and I called her "Celeste" which struck us funny every time we said it. It conjured images I think of Thelma and Louise or LaVerne and Shirley. For a long time, Pete couldn't call me by name... what that was about I don't know. But, when he finally did, oh, that made me happy. The boys called me Mommy only for a short time, and then I became Mom. Most of the time I have loved being called that. There were days I'd have liked to divorce myself from the title... when I was tired and losing my identity as an entire person. Now, I'm over 50 and getting reacquainted with who Katie is. Part of who she is knows that raising the cup, blessing it and giving thanks is an important part of discovering more of who I am . "Calling on God, calling on God!" Oh, I'm reminded of Kaitlin, played by Amy Poehler on SNL. She has a special relationship with her stepdad, Rick. Rick is patient and longsuffering. Kaitlin is manic and her brain is active... I'd say she is fully alive. I think I'll try emulating Kaitlin's relationship with Rick in my prayer life. It's not very mature, but it's REAL. Try hulu.com, "kaitlin goes to the mall".

yoke, moses, burden, light, Pete's garden

Moses is still talking to God by the burning bush. I love how they hammer out exactly what it is that Moses is supposed to say to the Israelites .. okay, now WHO is it that I'm supposed to say sent me? God says, "I am who am".. or how about just "I am" . If I say those words of God "I am" it sounds like a mantra or a breath prayer. If I try to ignore what the words mean and just listen for the sound of "I am" ... I hear the brand name of a dog food. Oops, no, "Ehyeh asher ehyeh" that's the Hebrew translation ... which doesn't evoke anything solid either. My parents used to refer to individuals with exuberant egos as the "Great I Am". So, Moses says...and then you want me to tell them that we'll go tell the Egyptian king that we're leaving for a few days to go out into the desert to worship our god, and when the king says oh, no you won't then ? Then, says God, I will smote the Egyptians with all sorts of horrible things. Now, if this was the story, which was told years afterward as the Israelites sat around their dinner tables or camp fires, then this was their story. If I were to look back on events in my life, would I see God's hand at work?

Jesus says in today's gospel: "Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened,and I will give you rest.... Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light."

What I'm hearing in the readings in this moment: Let God be God.

still searching.. and being hounded

From Lucy Grealy's Autobiography of a Face:

"I used to think truth was eternal, that once I knew, once I saw, it would be with me forever, a constant by which everything else could be measured. I know now that this isn’t so, that most truths are inherently unretainable, that we have to work hard all our lives to remember the most basic things." This is why I blog. To help me remember the truth and maybe to discover it anew.

and another thing

At a gathering of old friends the question was posed: What was something someone told you that remember as words of wisdom? On the spot, that was tough for some. Some though were able to identify a phrase or a statement and share right away. Two I remember: "never take your eye off the ball".... and "do not look back and regret" Both of those were statements made by dads to their sons. Knowing the two gents as I do I thought how lovely that their dads were able to offer what I thought were real words of wisdom to these two particular men. It actually almost made me cry to think of those two fathers whom I know are now deceased. I made myself cry just by thinking and writing about them. Anyway, my father also said, "keep your eye on the ball" which is a great one! He actually said a lot of things like that as he taught me how to use tools, hammer a nail, hit a baseball., change a tire.. I was the oldest of four girls and then a boy entered our family. So Daddy taught me the stuff dads know how to do, since I was his first. My mother taught me about domestic tasks: "always pre-shrink fabric before you sew with it", "always wash anything raw chicken touches", "wash your sheets once a week" "eight inches is the span between your thumb and your middle finger"... There was a lot of unspoken stuff ... I knew that clean fingernails were a good thing. Back to the words of wisdom. I remember my mother saying, "No one chooses to be unhappy." "They just don't know any better." "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." My father said, "Don't try to teach your grandmother how to suck eggs" which kind of left me wondering... I'm remembering some things they said that didn't ring true as wisdom, but that's for another blog and possibly due to the generational difference? Name words of wisdom that someone shared with you. Please?

my favorite recipe

This quilt was made by my mother for me on the occasion of my 40th birthday. That was a few years ago. She made it all by hand. That is what she enjoys! It hangs in my family room and reminds me of my mother... and how she loves to make things with her hands and of how much she loves her children. I know the feeling!


I'm making my favorite Moroccan Carrots recipe right now. As I was concocting I thought it'd be fun to share the recipe and to ask my readers if they would share their favorite recipe. Let me say right up front, that I am not a great cook. I'm really not even a good cook, but I do like to eat and this recipe is pretty fool proof. So, here goes:





3 lbs. carrots, peeled, trimmed, and cut on sharp diagonal into 1/3 inch slices


1 C fruity olive oil


1/4 C balsamic vinegar


3/4 C red wine vinegar


1/4 C. sweet Hungarian paprika


1/4 C ground cumin


5 lg. cloves garlic, coarsely chopped


1 C. minced fresh parsley


1 T salt or to taste





1. Place the carrots in a large pot and add cold water to cover. Cook over high heat just until the carrots are crisp-tender. DO NOT OVERCOOK. Drain immediately. Do not rinse with cool water.


2. While the carrots are cooking, make the dressing: Whisk the oil, both vinegars together in a large mixing bowl. Whisk in the paprika, cumin, and salt.


3. Add the hot carrots to the dressing and stir to coat. Add the garlic and the parsley and toss to combine. Let the salad cool to room temperature, then serve. The salad can be stored in the fridge for several days. For the best flavor, let it warm to room temp before serving.


Makes 10-12 servings.

city of light and life

on a pilgrimage.. to a city of light and life. I love the idea of a pilgrimage. To set out on foot especially to find a treasure, not knowing what that treasure will be exactly, but confident that there is some to be found. While bathing, Pharoah's daughter found a Hebrew baby floating in a basket in the river. Jesus found the people of Bathsaida unreceptive to his call. (today's gospel rdg. from Matthew). What will I find today in my travels? I discovered the male and female parts of our zucchini plants this morning (after a tutorial from the horticulturist at the nursery yesterday) and now know that if we don't have insects pollinating the flowers, then we have to do it ourselves. We can use a paintbrush to transfer pollen from male to female. I'd rather the bees did it, but our shriveled vegetables might need our help. We're playing with the drip system too which wasn't delivering the right amount of water to our plants. Our travels through our days are no less spectacular or significant than the stories of those in Scripture... and I like being invited to think of them in that light. God is present in all of our life.... am I present to that truth?

another monday

and another "Just Joey" rose blooming in our back yard. The readings from today are full of brutality. The Israelites are being forced into slavery in Egypt in the first reading from Exodus. The first born sons have been ordered to be killed by the Pharoah. In the gospel from today (Matt. 10:34-11:1) Jesus is spelling out further what it means to be his disciple. It means going against what is our comfort in order to love others. This gospel is troubling for me and always has been because Jesus says: "Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth.I have come to bring not peace but the sword.For I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother,and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;and one's enemies will be those of his household." WHAT? Therein lies the trouble! While we call it Good News, this gospel tells us that we can expect real struggles in our efforts to follow the spirit of love. The interior struggle to rise above my weaker self sounds like seriously bad news, but there is an up side. My experience, though small as it is, is that when I have made a sacrifice out of love, when I've risked "persecution" out of love, when I've done the countercultural act, out of love, then there is a consequent buoying of spirit that makes me feel alive and maybe even MORE alive. Then it feels like I'm living in the flow.. How do you understand the words of Jesus?

memorial of st. benedict

July 11, 2009.. Amy Hayes' birthday. Feast of St. Benedict, who lived around 500 and who established an order of monastic living based on his "Rule" which outlines a system for holy living for laymen. I've read parts of the Rule, and this one part caught my attention. One talked about community living and the need for forgiveness always. Recognizing that the brothers would aggravate one another, Benedict spoke as a loving father to his children... seeking to encourage them to "get along"... that they must practice forgiveness all the time. I remember reading that section and marveling at his clear seeing.. that one of the truths of community living, whatever that community looks like, is that people are bound to chafe with such proximity to different people. Benedict was pragmatic! .. and that in order for peace to reign, individuals had to practice forgiveness over and over again. He described a situation where two of the brothers are responsible for the kitchen duties one week, and one works more slowly than another, and yes, how aggravating that could be... that brother is NOT GOING TO CHANGE. So, practice patience and forgiveness. I found this in a lovely little book,Praying with Benedict, by Sr. Katherine Howard, a Benedictine sister who teaches at College of St. Benedict's in St. Joseph, MN. "One of the regular ways for repairing broken bonds and restoring harmony was the twice daily recitation of the Lord's Prayer by the abbot. This was done during the divine office and according to Benedict's own directions:

Assuredly, the celebration of Lauds and Vespers must never pass by without the superior's reciting the entire Lord's Prayer at the end for all to hear, because thorns of contention are likely to spring up. Thus warned by the pledge they make to one another in the very words of this prayer: Forgive us as we forgive (Matt 6:12), they may cleanse themselves of this kind of vice. (Rule, 13.12-13) "

So today, I ask God to bless Amy on her birthday and to bless our community that we take up the Lord's Prayer and Benedict's encouragement to love one another.

take no tunic

Princes Garden, Edinburgh, May 30, 2009.


Jesus tells the disciples in chapter 10 of Matthew's gospel: keep on keepin on. Take the good news and share it, but don't waste time with people who won't listen. Sunday's gospel described Jesus' experience going home to his kin, and how there he and his msg were not received. Here we get a glimpse of what Jesus found as he revealed his own truth. Ouch. He gives his disciples a heads up that they will encounter both apathy and hostility. Keep on keepin on. It must have been discouraging for the followers to discover that what they experienced as the good news was NOT to other people. Kinda like sharing with someone your love for a great movie only to find that either they are not inspired by what you love OR they downright disliked your film choice. Ohhhhh. I just read the dedication or quote at the beginning of The Razor's Edge: "The sharp edge of a razor is difficult to pass over, thus the wise say the path to Salvation is hard." - from the Katha-Upanishad. Does it really have to be so hard? For me, yes. In this moment, I'm aware that there is always the invitation to be willing to see that my ways are not God's ways. What am I being invited to see today? in particular within my own family and those close to me?

nobody reads my blog

I just looked at the blog of a friend of mine. She is a writer and is published in different magazines and she's even written a book and had it published. I'm now suffering from envy. I think that is a bad thing. I enjoy her writing and she writes about a lot of the same things I write about. How come nobody reads my blog? Is it that I don't advertize? Maybe I'll recommend that she read mine and give me feedback... since she's a writer, right? yeah, that's what I'm doing... and it doesn't matter that I wrote this in my blog, BECAUSE NOBODY READS IT ANYWAY. I'm laughing right now... and it makes me happy to laugh.

freeing theology

ooh, a theology that frees... or a theology that is free. Both are nigh impossible, because only God can free, really, I believe. We can really only see as in a mirror darkly. When we see Him, we shall see clearly. In what ways are we particularly blinded these days? Look around! who are those who are marginalized? who and what parts of US are not invited to the table? I'm reminded of dinner tables. Who does all the talking? What topics are forbidden? What is not talked about are those things that culturally and personally we are not prepared to cope with. So we don't acknowledge or welcome parts of US. The rules are more or less established and we maintain a civility for everyone's comfort, rather than extend a genuine love. Within each family, there are acceptable norms, often rooted in personal comfort levels. As we become more comfortable with more of US, more parts of us, then we can accept who ever comes to the table. Who and What are we not receiving at the table? Is there a consequence that is unfavorable?

milkin' it

We're not going anywhere in the month of July. Well, not any where outside of the Bay Area. So, I feel I must milk our Scotland trip for all its worth. Pete and I here are shown on the ferry from Oban to the Isle of Mull. It was a glorious ride, 45 minutes through mist and sunshine, clouds and breeze. It was like a Disneyland ride, but better. Along the way we saw a lighthouse, more little islands, castle ruins, and I can not exclaim enough about the sky. Maybe the quality of the light at that latitude? I don't know. There were happy tourists sprinkled about the ferry, including a few schoolaged children, darting around the deck taking in the different views. Delightful!! Can you tell I'm savoring the memory?