Friday, April 30, 2010

In today's gospel reading from John 14, Jesus says to his disciples: “Do not let your hearts be troubled." I remember the first time I "heard" this reading. Ahhhhhh. It didn't sound the same as "Don't worry". I'm reminded of when Jesus says to Peter "get behind me Satan" or words to that effect. When friends have discouraged me from doing what I felt called to do because they were afraid I'd get hurt, I have wanted to say "get behind me Satan". Sometimes, God equips us to do exactly what appears to others to be foolish, dangerous, and not worthwhile. It can seem to others to be a waste of time. Once, I considered going to our parish priest and telling him what I perceived to be the truth. Friends raised their voices and said "No! Don't Go!" I really had a deep sense that it was a good thing to do. They feared for me and had little faith in .... the truth? God? me? the priest? In the end, I didn't go and speak my truth. It's been long enough that I don't remember if events proved my friends right, but I remember distinctly the dilemma I was caught in. I would hope that now I would listen to Jesus when he says "Do not let your hearts be troubled." and persist in listening to and answering the call. It is precisely when fear or negative thoughts slip in to the situation that I can hearken to Jesus invitation "Do not let your hearts be troubled."

spring rains

View from my kitchen window, while it rains.

I have never enjoyed spring rains so much. Well, I haven't been out in my boots sloshing through the gutters the way we did when we were kids. This time, I'm just thankful for the moisture in the air and in the ground and for the life it brings. I don't remember spring rains like this in California. I remember winter rains for sure. These rains are so quickly followed by sunshine, blue sky and rainbows and birds singing their hearts out. The trees are green now too, which is a difference. Lilacs are in bloom and poppies and lupine and lavender. The earth is bursting forth with life and as if in blessing, the sky offers a nice shower to cleanse it all. I'm loving it!! Worms are out, as are the newts and the slugs. I went swimming in the wind and rain yesterday. So I got doubly washed. Benediction.

all are called to holiness

I listened to a blog video show this morning with Fr. Jim Martin, S.J. and the minister of a Unitarian Universalist Church in L.A., Peter Laarman. It was a spirited and respectful conversation between the two ministers centered on the topics of celibacy and chastity and the "hermetically sealed" clerical culture of the hierarchy of the Catholic Church. It was an hour long discussion but well worth the listen. Among other things, they pointed out the kind of power wielded by Catholic sisters... on the front lines often working with those living in the margins (right where Jesus hung out) and many other holy people, priests, brothers, sisters and lay folk. One expression that Fr. Jim articulated I especially was taken with: "we are all called to be holy." Ah, yes. That. When I taught high school girls I liked the explanation for "holiness" that said... holiness comes from the same word as "whole"... God's hope for us is wholeness. Integrity, dignity, bearers of light and love. That is our identity as children of God. Need to be reminded of that, often.

tuesday, april 13, 2010

Pete and i were walking last night and I wondered out loud about the severity of the Rule of St. Benedict. I read a bit of it each day that is posted on "Universalis" home page. The Rule spells out how the sisters are to live in the community and how the abbott or abbess is to handle situations, like what clothes the sisters are to own, and what to do with the money that the women have when they enter the community and how to discipline the sisters when they "talk during meals." One disciplinary measure is to have the sisters lie prostrate before the abbess. Another that is often used is separating the sister from the group somehow. Shame seems to be popular. Anyway, I wondered outloud what must the world have been like to have such severity within the community to create order and obedience. We guessed that at the point in Europe when the Rule was written by Benedict, things were pretty wild and wooly. Rome had fallen, barbarians ran across the land, and there may have been a very real sense that what was needed was order! Not to mention, just the challenge of creating a community that could harmoniously survive. What I have to use my imagination for: what did life in the community look like? there probably was a fair amount of friction, irritation, bickering, work.. but if I put on my Zefferelli lens I can see too that there was living color beauty too... women and men who strove to live in harmony, who loved God as best they could, who sought direction and mentoring from a mature monk or sister, who every day took up their cross and with the support of the community grew in God's grace. Imagine having every aspect of your life scrutinized by an abbess! What serves in our lives to curb appetites, and to require obedience to God's call? How well does my conscience operate? I'm just askin'.

monday, april 12, 2010 Roger's birthday

Happy Birthday to my youngest, sweetest brother in law. I'll never forget the best hug I ever got was from Roger, right after his wedding ceremony took place. He and my sister Jennie got married in a concelebrated ceremony. Roger is a faithful German Swedish Michigan Lutheran and Jennie is military brat Irish Catholic. Both a Lutheran minister and a Catholic priest presided over the wedding. One of our fondest memories of that event, btw, was when the brand new young minister explained to the wedding party that they were to keep their eyes on the cross as the entrance song was being played. They were NOT to turn and look at the bride as she came down the aisle with her father. Pete and my brother, Rob, were groomsmen and they listened to the minister as he explained his rationale for this variation on the bridal procession norm. As soon as the music swelled, Rob and Pete did a pivot and turned to face Jennie as she came smiling down the aisle. The renegades. The same thought ran through their heads: are you kidding? we are here to celebrate Jennie and Roger.. Jesus is here in our midst.. and he is all about Jennie and Roger. She and he were both radiant. Back to the hug: so I met up with the wedding party briefly back in the hall way adjacent to the altar. I ran into Roger first and went to give him a hug. When Roger's happy it is no secret. Dimples in his cheeks, twinkling blue eyes and a killer smile that all adds up to infection! Total hug! My mother used to say of some guys: "He's built like a Mack truck" and that would fit Roger's description. I'm used to hugging tall guys. Roger is my size but built like a Mack truck. You KNOW you've been hugged when you meet the truck. Total joy! I'll never forget it! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROGER!! You're the best!! Wishing you a year of happy hugs!

feast of st. john baptiste de la salle

Today (it said in other years and I don't know what that means) is the feast day of St. John Baptiste de la Salle. Since Pete, his uncle and grandfather and now our four boys were educated by the Brothers of the Christian Schools and then Itoo, when I attended a Christian Brothers' College, I owe a great debt of gratitude to this man. He was born in Rheims in France in 1651. He became a priest and devoted himself wholeheartedly to the education of children, founding schools for the poor. He and his colleagues formed a congregation called the Brothers of the Christian Schools, in whose cause he suffered many tribulations. He died in Rouen in 1719. In thanksgiving to all of the brothers who taught me and Pete and for the charism that lives on through the lay men and women teaching in his schools. I do believe that most teachers and religious women and men at Christian Bros. schools do try very very hard to "love, guide and instruct"(in that order) in the tradition of St. John. In gratitude for the effort and especially for the times they have succeeded in touching so many lives in a Christ like way. I've witnessed it myself. Okay, for example, I had a priest pull me out of class one day and share that he had read my writing and that he didn't think I was living up to my potential in terms of class work. Oops. While I was embarassed, it was a great gesture of generosity for him to address me in all seriousness. I'll never forget Fr. Edgar McCarren... beautiful Irishman with a beatific smile and a passion for education.

wednesday, april 7, 2010

mystery! the gospel reading today recounts the event from Emmaus. The disciples are on their way to Emmaus and a stranger joins them on the road. They share the story of what has happened in Jerusalem in the last week and the stranger appears to know nothing about them. They tell the story and as they talk they begin to recognize a familiar friend. It is when they break bread with him, that they are certain of who it is .. Jesus. Oh, and how they loved him. He is still with them! I wish I could paint a picture of the shift that happened in them as it dawned on them who this person was. He was in their midst... still. He was not lost to them. I heard a beautiful reflection this morning on this reading given by a woman from Savannah. She ended her talk by saying: Can we let Jesus be that companion on the journey of life? (something like that.) and she is right to say it the way she did, I think. Can we LET Jesus be our companion? Can we invite God into our worries and our fears and doubts? trusting the one who loves us with an abiding love to care for us and help us. I pray for this confidence.

Easter Tuesday, April 6, 2010

i thank you God for most this amazing... (65)
e.e. cummings
poem

I remember when I first read this poem.. what a discovery!


i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

Holy Thursday!

just discovered pink ranunculus coming up and getting ready to bloom, red orange and white freesias in bloom, our new apple tree outside our bedroom window has pink and white blossoms on it. I moved our basil plant into the sun. It was in the shadows of the ebullient Italian flat parsley plant. The chard plants will remain in their squares until a new tomato plant arrives to replace it. For some reason, the chard did not take off this season. Not sure why not. Pete and I watched a documentary film entitled "Botany of Desire" with Michael Pollan, and the lovely Frances McDormand narrating. The subject? potatoes, tulips, cannabis, and apples. Visually, a feast. The analysis: the interplay between man and plants through the years. McDonald's and its diners influence on the potato industry. The Dutch's fascination with the tulip and its impact on their history/economy. The history of the potato.. from South America to Ireland to Idaho. The sordid story of marijuana's journeys from Mexico to Mendocino County, and Johnny Appleseeds unintended provision of hard cider through his spread of apples on the frontier leading to the push for prohibition. Apples grow wild in Kazakstan (sp)... and there are farmers crazy for apples working hard in upstate NY to enlarge the genetic variety of apples to save them. Listening to Michael Pollan inspired me to think again about what I put into my body. I can not boast about resisting a french fry on someone's plate. I don't want to make a religion of food.. but I could make an effort to eat more plants, and consider if I'm ingesting nutrients or not, eh? I think I'll go share an orange with John... or an apple... and be thankful.