time to say goodbye june 25, 2010

i found a video on the internet of a water fountain display in Dubai. It is the most elaborate I have ever seen. Accompanying it on the youtube video was the song "Time to Say Goodbye" sung by Sara Brightman and Andrea Boccelli (sp). Tomorrow my parents return to their home in Denver and after over thirty years you'd think I would get used to it. Nah. It doesn't seem right to me that they should live so far away from all of their children. Such is life. I hate saying goodbye. I have always hated saying goodbye. I've learned to cover as best I can . Generally a few tears sneak their way onto my face. Ugh. When I was in college and I had opted to leave the University of North Dakota after a year and a half, my sweet roommates Kristi and Linda wanted to drive me to the airport to see me off. I was adamant that I did not want that to happen. i'd rather leave them in the dorm with less fanfare. They challenged me, but I was steadfast. I KNEW that I would be a wreck. Being young, I had less experience with goodbyes and my young heart I knew would shudder in paroxysms and I imagined that I would collapse if I'd had to say the big goodbye at the foot of the airplane. My friends loved me! and they were transparent about it. and I loved them. I didn't really want to say goodbye. I didn't know what that meant, exactly, or did I? Maybe I was becoming aware that goodbyes are leaping into the unknown and while carrying memories and relationships with us, we are also leaving behind people and places. God knows, I have done a lot of this in my vagabond life as a military dependent. So, once again, my parents will leave driving off into the sunrise tomorrow morning. Do parents have any idea how much their children love them? I'm often aware that children must have no idea how much we parents love them.... but it must be built in. Time to say goodbye. Waaaaaaa. Check out this fountain: http://www.flixxy.com/burj-khalifa-fount...

june 24 solemnity of st. john the baptist

Today is John the Baptist's feast day. I heard a reflection on his role in the life of the Church given by a soft spoken Hispanic priest from the United States Catholic Conference of Bishops' website this morning. He, like so many others, has been enjoying the World Cup soccer matches. He likened St. John the Baptist to a coach. John was apparently Jesus' cousin and he himself was a tender of souls. His admonitions to repent and be saved are like coaching. John prepared the people of Jesus' day for the ministry of Jesus. With humility, John recognized that Jesus was a "greater player" and that his job was to ready the field for Jesus to plant and spread the good news. I like this image a lot. It's not a perfect analogy, because I see Jesus' father as being the real coach, but the other point that the priest made was that we are to be like John with eachother. We are to encourage one another to hearken to the voice of God in us... to be the best we can be in our spiritual lives. It seems to me that what John did and what we are invited to do is just to remind eachother that we are children of God and that we are well loved. Knowing that, we are free to love one another. With so many other messages about who we are or are supposed to be, this message can strangely be missed. Thank you St. John the Baptist... for pointing the way.

thursday, june 17, 2010

Remember to take time for yourself. I was reminded of that this morning by my life coach. The family is heading up to our favorite place, The Sea Ranch, and it will be so wonderful to be with everybody all together. To fully enjoy the company though it's good to get a little space to just be... today's gospel has Jesus teaching the disciples his favorite prayer, The Our Father. Thy Kingdom come.

monday, june 14, 2010

after years of living in Livermore, in the valley, where it gets well over 100 degrees for weeks at a time, I am still so grateful when the fog reaches us here on the other side of the East Bay hills. The air moves and is the definition of fresh. I remember when I moved here in 1977 and was a student at St. Mary's College. The brilliant white fog clouds would roll in over the Golden Gate Bridge and the sight of them was breathtaking. It meant our natural air conditioner had been turned on and it was a matter of hours til we felt the cool damp air seep into our atmosphere and cool our skin. It is always lovely to sleep when the fog blankets the neighborhood. Today is one of those days. Thank heaven. I feel alive and like I can move and think and do. I am grateful, that is all.

inheritance, june 12, 2010

The story from the gospel today is the one where Jesus disappears on his parents in jerusalem and they search for him for three days and find him in the Temple. He says to his mom, "did'nt you know I had to be in my Father's house?" I'm picturing that a lot of teenagers used that line with their parents when they snuck out of the house to go play. I was struck by this development in the family dynamic. Jesus, acc. to the gospel, is about 12 yrs old. Maybe that was considered an age of departure... puberty, leaving mama, finding his own identity. For a first time mom, with our oldests, it is quite shocking to discovery that our sons have their own identity and part of that identity is that he does not have to report to you. He is beholden to you, he is related to you, but his identity is his own and his achievements, his activities, his inner thoughts are all his. It is essential that he be given our blessing... and maybe that is what Mary did. At the end of the gospel reading it says that Mary "held all these things in her heart". I'm having a hard time holding all these things in my heart. However, I am being given the permission (kick in the ***) to find my own identity outside of this house. It is very tough to be at one and the same time, holding on to these relationships , as they are more and more sidelined, and to step out and seek my own life. The tug is always more in the direction of these relationships... but the boys don't need me. As far as they are concerned,, they have received all they need. Jesus returned to Nazareth and was obedient to his parents. Hmmm. That word is hardly in the vocabulary of this generation. Nor would I know what to do with that kind of deference. How can I get clear about what I must do for my own life? Seek LIFE!! where it can be found. A friend recently told me about his discovery of rowing in his life. He committed to drive an hour away from his home in order to join a crew team. Let him be my inspiration!!!

wednesday, june 9, 2010

The disciples are quizzing Jesus again. I'm trying a new way to understand the scripture readings for the day. St. Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Jesuit order, recommended that we enter into the gospel through our imaginations. Imagine that we are there in the story as a participant ( a disciple, the donkey Mary rode to Bethlehem, a star shining above, whatever) and then imagine how the air felt, what the mood was, what the thoughts were of others in the story, what were the sound and meaning of the words Jesus spoke. In today's reading, (Matthew 5:17-)Jesus explains that he has come not to abolish the law but to fulfill it. I can so see myself in this story trying to make sense of Jesus' person. Okay, now what does he want us to believe? I've grown up with this law handed down to us by our ancestors and what are we supposed to do with that? and Jesus, ever gracious and authoritative, says oh no, leave none of that behind. That is all true! Abandon nothing of our spiritual ancestors, but know that I am the fulfillment. What I have to reveal to you about salvation is the just the final word. Be alert. Be expansive enough to include it all. Open your minds and your hearts and your souls and leave nothing out that is good. In a way, maybe he is trying to help the disciples avoid the either/or choice and invite them to open wide to the reality of both/and. Maybe a part of our nature wants to create the us against them stance. Jesus seems to be very clear on this. His life is a piece of God's revelation. This feels like an invitation to me to see a wider horizon, to paint in broader strokes, to see God as active in all of life and to draw my eyes open wider to the ways he is inviting my heart to love more.