today is Saturday, December 29th and it is nearing the day when we say goodbye to the year 2012 for keeps. Where to begin... John's bday is the first significant day for me in any year. John turned 19... he was back in school, so we had to send his bday gifts to Santa Cruz. I remember he said it was awkward and that he tried to hide out from his friends because he doesn't like a fuss made. He is true to himself. Then our friend Terri was very ill, dying from cancer still fighting it with chemotherapy. Tommy was in New Haven, enjoying his year w the forestry students. Billy was enjoying his new job with First Solar... still in Oakland I think. Robbie was in Pasadena working for Ubersocial and we had new years day w them in their apartment overlooking the Rose Bowl Parade. What a kick that was.. with their friends, Dave and Elliot. Oh God help me to remember and to savor the moments of together ness and affection. and God bless everyone who is trying to be fully human in the midst of a world freckled with lesser gods. (btw: Danny the Dog, has been a constant buddy... only a few trips to the vet, incl one when he "ate something on a walk w/ Edward" .. but he has enjoyed his walks off leash so much in the park near our house, hallelujah, happy dog and me). Our friend Terri left this earth (but she is near!) in March (26?) and we moved into our house in Oakland a week later. Her memorial service was the day before we moved actually. Pete was involved in the settling of the estate, which involved trips to SF to see Terri's attorney. We were called into action more also with her actual hospitalization and her death because she had no spouse and no one to advocate for her... her friends in the end. She was too big for this world! May, Tommy turned 28 (1984) .. don't know where he was.. oh yeah, Greece for a friend's wedding (George and Ann) and then he spent the summer in Norway, where he could hardly afford to eat. Billy joined him later in the summer and they traveled to Iceland on their way home. July we celebrated Tom and Jackie's 60 wedding anniversary at Sea Ranch with everyone BUT Tommy... We were in three houses... and we were able to have a nice dinner at our house (Sugarman) and a fun trivia night with ?'s about T and J. Sweet! That was a few mos before Jackie left this earth. (She is still with us) She and Tom came over to give us an anniversary card on Aug. 7th and that was the last time I saw her intact. She had a stroke a week later, the day before we flew home from Washington state. Then she stayed in the hospital until she died on Aug. 26th.. her funeral mass was Sept. 2 or 3rd? In the midst of it all, Tommy flew home from NH, CT two weekends in a row. So he was able to say goodbye in person and then for the funeral too. Billy was an ace all the way.. present up close and on duty. It was a blessing to have all the boys, but he was on the frontlines. Robbie flew up... as did Martha? Was Martha already here for her job? Maybe. (Nanette left this earth three days after Jackie did) Robbie moved up after a few weeks (long) interviewing w Google while Martha was working and commuting at/to Wildfire, then Google. Tom began having meals with us immediately after the girls left for their homes. Initially, we drove him, then he drove over and then we drove him home, and now, he has lost his license, because he fell asleep at the wheel... Amy and John G. are with him now and will be for a few wks and then we will be his go to team. John's second yr at SC was challenging too.. he is still sorting out a major course of study. Thinking about mathematics... broke up w/ his girlfriend, with whom he climbed Half Dome in June just before the Sea Ranch trip. He cherishes his friends. We have been pouring on the support and the TLC as best we can, to help him through these developmental humps. Big stuff... I am SO proud of him. Highlights: tea w/ Martha for her bday at the Sheraton Palace... my mother's 78th bday dinner at our house ... the trip to the Olympic Peninsula.... settling in to the new house... our open house w/ friends (sweet)... nice hot soaks in our bathtub... losing 10 lbs!!...
getting a new bed (comfy for the first time in a LONG TIME)... dinners w/ Sally and Jeff... listening to Michael Sweeney, OP in both his Lent talk and his Advent talk.... praying w/ the St. Augustine community... communion w people in the hospital. How can I say thank you enough? Life is a glow with potential .. radiance. (Ah, new life too: Lucca Barsotti, Eva Payapilly, Emma Robinson, and Lola, who is three soon). and the misc. babies I've met in my travels, incl the newborns at the hospital. Gratitude for the 3rd-5th graders we get to spend time with on Sundays too~ and  the beautiful sunsets here we can see, after 9 yrs of being beneath the hills of Moraga at sunset. GIFT.
Thank you God, for this year of blessings... your always being with us... especially thankful for the times when the going has been rough. I have felt your constancy, your strength, your peace. No really I have... just wish I didn't have to dig so deep to find it... be with us and with me, this new year of 2013.. and strengthen me for the journey. In ways it is easier, in ways it is not easier. Be with me, please. and help me to be with you. Amen.