a new red door, september 26, 2010

Robbie painted our front door. It was a rich cool teal green before. I gave him carte blanche with the new color choice and he and Pete decided on this friendly happy red. Words can not describe how much I love it. Okay, I will give it a shot: delighted, lifted up higher and higher, en joie de vivre (I totally made that up), I got the best parking place!, a happy HOME. Thank you Robbie! for doing the heavy lifting, as always, and for leaving your strong and beautiful heart on our front door!

let's not fart around

the reading from Ecclesiastes today is "vanity of vanities"... you know the one. The writer must have been suffering from what Kathleen Norris, author of Cloister Walk,and Acedia among others, identifies as "acedia"... one of the original seven deadly sins, I think, but it got retired from the list. She contends though that it is still deadly, because what acedia does is lead the person to say "nothing matters". Eventually, there is no reason to get out of bed or to do anything. Yesterday, I was really getting mad at God, the universe, who ever is in charge and who will listen, about the fact that I know so many people who are bravely living with cancer. It REALLY makes me mad. I don't really think that one person is responsible for the suffering in the world, but I needed to take my anger somewhere, right? I am Irish/Scottish for a reason... I get mad! It always occurs to me LAST that I can take my humanity to God.. that the source of my life cares and knows me.. and will answer me.. I was not disappointed.

from Psalm 90:

In every age, O Lord, you have been our refuge.
Fill us at daybreak with your kindness,
that we may shout for joy and gladness all our days.
Prosper the work of our hands for us!
Prosper the work of our hands!

and so, among other things, God says "Get Moving!!" and I say "Lead me in the right direction, okay? cuz I don't have that much longer to fart around, okay? "

friday, september 17, 2010

"Hide me in the shadow of your wings", from Jeremiah. Trying to enter into that phrase, or that prayer request. The prophet Jeremiah, living in the Middle East, compelled to speak what God called him to preach to people, must have sought a retreat from his pubic ministry. That desire to be hidden comes from where? and "in the shadow of your wings" is a little stretch for me. There'd have to be pretty darned big wings to create a big enough shadow to cover or hide me! I'm reminded of children who bury their faces in their mothers legs or laps or skirts. I'm reminded of times I've tried burying my face in Pete's chest. or remembering as a child myself creating forts in our living room and "hiding" inside in the dark and cool created by the blankets. Ooooh. I remember being small enough to sit under an umbrella on the floor and being hidden. Generally, I prefer the light, I think. But there is a moment when being in the shadows is the sort of refreshment called for. I just read a book "Down the Nile" by Rosemary Mahoney. She rows a boat down the river Nile. I recommend this book, so I won't tell much. But, it is hot in Egypt! and so she seeks out shade along the way. Her writing is highly descriptive and so I could sense the mind numbing heat and sought the same shade she did as I read. Where is it that I need shade? figuratively speaking. Where can I seek the shadow of God's wing and find safety and comfort and love?

oreos

Here's today's reading from St. Paul to the Philippians (a lector this summer pronounced it "philippines" so forever after now it will be the Philippines...arrgh.

"Brothers and sisters: Christ Jesus,

though he was in the form of God,
did not regard equality with God something to be grasped.
Rather, he emptied himself,
taking the form of a slave,
coming in human likeness;
and found human in appearance,
he humbled himself,
becoming obedient to death,
even death on a cross.
Because of this, God greatly exalted him
and bestowed on him the name
that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus
every knee should bend,
of those in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that
Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Just this morning while I drove to the pool I listened to John Rutter's CD Gloria and one song, very English sounding, referred to the "Lord".. and I was repelled. "Lord" conjures images of landowners, royalty, who merely due to their title receive homage from their servants and neighbors. Being kinda egalitarian, I don't like that. and I certainly can't relate to a deity who is called "Lord". That puts me in a bind, cuz that's what he's called in a lot of places. So, what would I call the one who points the way to the Truth... ? Truthteller... that sounds kinda incomplete ... how about Beloved. just heard a story on NPR about an Iraqi Suni whose 21 yr old son was killed by the whomevers. Thinking about fathers who lose their sons. I can't imagine the pain of that.... and how the love between Jesus of Nazareth and His father led him to the cross (whose feast it is today, btw) and what greater outpouring of love I can not imagine. For the sake of all of his children... us. No greater love hath any man than to lay down his life for his friends. (I never use the word hath in real life, but it sounds good in that sentence.) Lift high the cross!

monday, sept. 13, 2010

so many faces and places and stages. I'm thinking of peole today, getting up and going to work or ending their honeymoons or getting ready to die, or working in the hospital, or the office bldg, or ? Today I will go the Hospice of the East Bay offices to finish the required orientation days. I will sit at a table with other employees and volunteers and have explained to me what legally I am obliged to do if I choose to volunteer for this organization. This process has taken me atleast four months. All I wanted to do was volunteer! I read a prayer this morning that asks God take what ordinary skills I have and put them to extraordinary use. God help me to persist in the good that I want to do, to tell what good it is that you are calling me to, and to stay true to the inspiration that is holy.