can't get enough of these roses

I'm gonna miss our roses while we're gone. I'm gonna miss John and Tommy and Danny while we're gone. But John and Tommy and Danny will still be themselves when I get back and the roses will have dropped from the bushes. I could go "all Emily Dickinson" about this... but I think that might lead to insanity or bizarre behavior. I already kinda like the idea of wearing the same outfit every day.. and I wouldn't mind a white dress. Easy to bleach. and I'm becoming more reclusive the older I get. Uh oh. No worries, as people say. I have too many anchors to allow an escape into these avenues of abstraction. BUT, I do loves roses.. who will love them while I am gone? Maybe Danny will notice them when he's out barking at the squirrels.

yellow roses

I know two women whose favorite flowers are yellow roses. They are: my mother, and our friend, Dana. These are Graham Thomas roses of which we have two bushes in our backyard. Right now, the bushes are laden with blooms. I've shared some with a friend, and brought some indoors and tried to capture their exuberant beauty in a photo. I think I'll try again in sunlight. Currently, I favor our Abraham Darby pink roses.. and I love pink dahlias and peonies too. Tastes change though and maybe Pat and Dana have transferred their affection to another worthy flower. I do know though that both women have sunshine written all over their souls... so yellow fits! What is your favorite flower at the moment??

make holy/make whole

Blessed be God, blessed be his life in our life, his love in our love, his spirit in our spirit, her tenderness like a mother’s, his strength in our strength, his mercy in our mercy, his joy in our joy, his longing in our longing, his smile in our smile, his tear in our tears, his light in our light, his dark in our dark…blessed be God, blessed be her holy name, her holy name, her holy name. Forgive us our trespasses as we try to forgive those who trespass against us, forgive us, forgive us, forgive us. Forgive us, forgive us. Walk with us on our walks, run with us on our runs, sleep with us while we sleep, carry us when we carry, swim with us when we swim, ride with us when we ride, float with us when we float. In other words, be with us … all the time, where ever we are, whatever we do, breathe life into our life. Amen.

with trepidation

What will remain of our boys Catholic education? After a lifetime of exposure to the Church, what will remain? John was confirmed yesterday at Christ the Light Cathedral with Tommy as his sponsor, and as much family as could be there, as supporters. The cathedral was full of people, there was robust singing and music, pomp and ritual, worried looking clergy. This was our new bishop's first Confirmation since he stepped up as Bishop of Oakland a few wks ago. Because we belong to a culturally diverse Church, things felt a little awkward. The reading from the Acts of the Apostles was read in Spanish. I recognized a couple of words: Pedro and Juan. We sang a song about Cuerpo de Cristo. The gospel was proclaimed by Deacon Clement who hails from Singapore, and so we listened carefully for the words. The medieval pomp surrounding the bishop struck me as terribly anachronistic for this young generation. Maybe I'm wrong. The building itself is new and still has that "new car smell". One thing, as my brother in law remarked (because we discussed where the Church is headed) that remains the same: Catholics still revere going to the table and receiving Communion. As anyone who has served as a eucharistic minister has witnessed: there is deep desire on the part of the faithful to receive Christ in communion. The gesture of walking forward to open one's hands and receive the bread of life, the Bread of Life, is a gesture of humility and of love. Yes, I need God's very self to live in me. I accept His very self and seek to live out of that relationship. I can not "go it" alone. So, after John and his peers were confirmed, we celebrated our Lord's admonition: to break the bread and to "remember me". Another aspect of the Church that Pete's brother John remarked on: the Church is one institution where dissent can happen, discussion happens, and friction, agreement and disagreement happen. I love the catholicity of the Catholic church. but damn, it's unsettling... except for the communion part and the sacrament part. God's grace is poured out there and there we are given the grace to reckon with the challenges of our lives, not the least of which is being Church. John remarked: "I'm glad Tommy was with me." I am too. That's the part John "gets".

tommy is 25 years old

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TOMMY! Thomas Patrick Hayes was born May 13, 1984, Mother's Day. which meant I became a mother in the nick of time that year. I remember looking at him, all 7 lbs and 11 ounces of him in his isolette next to my hospital bed and just being amazed at this wholey, holy new person now in the world. and he was a PERSON. His own self. We'd read books about baby care and seen videos, but we had no idea that we were about to meet a PERSON and a brand new one, heretofore never seen on this green earth. His perspective, his lens on things new and different. His needs new and different. His gifts new and different. We have been, all our parenting lives, been so blessed to be witness to Tommy's blessed young life. Especially noteworthy, his zeal for connection, for getting out there, for qualities he embodies and lives: wisdom, humility, generosity and wit. God bless you Tommy, every day, as you have blessed ours. Via Con Dios! Bonne Anniversaire! Let the Festivus begin! to your party we've invited the entire Castanza family, okay? and Elaine for the dancing.

thanks to my friends

Thanks to my friends today on Mother's Day.. for keeping me going... feeding my soul, my body, my heart. For Sally, Terri, Sarah, Ali, Peggy, Jennie, Janice, Linda, Nanette, Kristi, etc. etc. etc. for keeping me going. Thanks to my own mother who with her sense of humor and perspective and generosity was all I needed. I love being a mother, but I couldn't have been as happy as one without my friends. THANK YOU! xo

and many more

VAN MORRISON - Have I Told You Lately? - Live In London
Source: www.youtube.com

Check it out...

athirst

from today's psalm: athirst is my soul for the living God. Last night Pete and I saw and heard Van Morrison and his 15 piece orchestra belt out and pour out Van's songs. The movement was powerful... the power of his presence and his voice and his poetry is something to behold. To be honest, I couldn't make out many of his words. Every once in a while, I'd pick out: "mystic church", " the healing begin" "right next to you" and it was impossible to miss "Gloria". I remember when I first heard Van's music: in a church. Rob Federle, a fellow parishioner and military brat, like me, was leading a eucharistic prayer service (in lieu of mass that Wed. morning) and he played a Van song on the little boom box. WHOA! Who is this guy? His words and voice and the music grabbed me right beneath the solar plexus. I've been a fan ever since. Last night, while I couldn't make out many of the words, I heard loud and clear under a half moon sitting on a cement seat a "soul athirst for the living God". All those musicians under the leadership and inspiration of Van Morrison seeking to express that desire.. with passion, skill and joy. Van hasn't had an easy life. As we headed back to our lives after the concert, Pete said, referring to Van's music: "it's all about the love...but, it recognizes how hard that is, the struggle, the pain, the disappointment, the desire... but ultimately, it's about the love." Yes, it is.