where the wind blows

As Jesus and his disciples were proceeding on their journey, someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.”Jesus answered him, “Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to rest his head.” And to another he said, “Follow me.” But he replied, “Lord, let me go first and bury my father.” But he answered him, “Let the dead bury their dead. But you, go and proclaim the Kingdom of God.” And another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but first let me say farewell to my family at home.” Jesus answered him, “No one who sets a hand to the plow and looks to what was left behind is fit for the Kingdom of God.” This exchange reminds me of the one Jesus has with Martha and Mary. He reminds Martha that it is good to be about the business of hearkening to his call. Martha was caught by the demands of the domestic scene, and was disturbed that Mary was sitting at Jesus' feet listening to him rather than helping her in the kitchen. (Wow, that word 'kitchen' is a weird word now that I look at it. I use that word all the time too!) Spiritual wisdom in this scripture, to me? How am I hearkening to the Spirit? Am I letting dead things in my life loom larger than life? Look for the spark waiting to be fed and feed it...

feast of the angels

Today is Sept 29 and on our church calendar, it is the feast of the archangels Michael, Gabriel and Raphael. One is the defender, one is the announcer and one is the healer. (That's my own summary)"These angels are manifestataions of God's gracious love, care and concern for each one of us." "God's strength" -Gabriel, one who brings great messages. Raphael, "God's remedy/God's healing". These angels remind us that God never leaves aus alone. God always accompanies us on our journey.
Michael- "one who is like unto God". Raphael is the angel who protects travelers and the patron saint of the sick. A friend told me recently that her best friend is her daughter's guardian angel. Another friend told me she blesses the outside of the airplane as she boards the plane and invites her guardian angels to step out onto the wings and travel with her until she safely lands. What angels are a part of your life? I can think of many friends who've been my angels, and who still are.

last days of September

Pete is napping. He spent some time in John Muir Hospital on Sat. night following a dramatic episode with dehydration. He's in recovery now. This weekend was very hot and he spent time working on a flagstone path outside in it. Neither John nor I were home to advise him to come indoors. Dehydration is NOT pretty. Our bodies are not impervious to abuse, and after days and days of heat and maybe too much coffee, too little water/electrolytes... who knows? Thank heaven for emergency rooms, paramedics, drs., nurses, IV fluids, anti nausea medicine.. Pete is on the mend. Before the sun reached its zenith on Saturday I went out into the yard and collected flowers,vegies and strawberries before they all succumbed to the heat. I wish I'd taken as good care of Pete!!

"the prayer"

Pete and I visited the Cantor Arts Museum at Stanford on Sunday. We didn't get to go to church, but we did see a collection of Rodin scultpures. The only other Rodin collection I've seen is at the Legion of the Palace of Honor in San Francisco. Sunday, though, sitting under a tree on artist Bruce Beasley's bench looking out upon a dozen Rodin sculptures the word "profundity" came to mind. Why is it that his art is so moving to me? He's a GENIUS. This particular piece shown in the picture is called "The Prayer" ... it provoked an imagining of a small French woman kneeling in prayer ... that gesture that is familiar to some of us, that has kind of gone by the wayside... I experienced a little communion with her! Her kneeling, for me, acknowledges that there is great dignity in acknowledging that God is God and we are not. The fact that this kneeler is not quite upright, and seems to be in mid-kneel adds energy/movement to the work. She appears to be young, still strong, and still she is prayerful. What might she be praying for? Somehow, this structure conveys more about the life of the Spirit for me than do images of saints on holy cards. Right after I took this picture, a young family appeared with two little ones. The 4 yr old girl wanted to climb on the statue, and grandpa seized the opportunity to take a picture. Dad ended up picking the little girl up and placing her so that her head filled the void on the statue. She was all smiles and chatter in her pink and green party dress. Her little brother picked up gravel from the ground and threw it at the prayer. After the encounter with the statue was finished and the toddlers scampered off, I glimpsed the mother gently brushing the gravel off of the pedestal beneath the prayer. Reminded me of the times I have knelt in church with little boys climbing under and over, coloring in coloring books on the pew behind me. No matter what, keep on praying... (I think St. Paul said something like that... pray without ceasing?) Auguste Rodin, merci!

autumn solstice

another sept. 21st has come and gone and it's now as light as dark .. the light is diminishing. The beauty of the light diminishing is that we can rest our eyes. We can rest our eyes. And while our eyes are resting, we can look with different eyes perhaps and see more subtley. Perhaps we can see those things that lie hidden or lie in the recesses, in the shadows... I had a thought tonight at the dinner table. For some reason in the middle of the night I was caught by this image of the Aleuts scrubbing the gravestones of their deceased on the island to which they had been exiled during WWII. Members of their family had died while in exile and had been buried on a strange island and the family had returned years later to pay their respects to their dead. To do that, they had brought water and buckets of soapy water and scrub brushes and they carefully and tenderly scrubbed the headstones at the gravesites. The gesture speaks volumes about honoring the memory of our beloved dead. This struck me as very very lovely!! In our culture, the gesture i am aware of is the placing of plastic flowers at gravesites. Maybe because I value clean, I prefer the scrubbing gesture more. Anyway, i thought that maybe a way of honoring those things that have died in my life... dreams, friendships, people, false notions.. could benefit from my imagiining that gesture .. my scrubbing with water and soap and scrub brush those things that have died in my life. in the process I acknowledge that something has died and that while it was a part of my life, I honor it. This gesture, in effect, blesses that thing that has died and allows it to rest, freeing me to be alive to what is next.

back together again

I got to see Robbie and his team for the first time since mid August. It was clear that they had been working hard and that they are a real TEAM. I remember being a member of our crew team in college... becoming a team. We saw eachother at our worst and at our best. That's how I fell in love with them. There will always be a special place in my heart for Christina, Christine, Rosanne, Candy, Daria, Sarah, Terri, Bonnie, and Ellen. I've stayed in touch with two in particular and hear about three or four more of them. I'm glad Robbie is having the experience of being a part of a bigger enterprise. Go Sagehens! and Go Gaels! I'm thanking God for the parents of the Sagehens too.. for providing the boys with whom Robbie shares team.

more thoughts on aging

While previous studies inferred that elderly people’s bleak language was a natural response to painful experiences, Prof. Matsumoto’s research offers an opposing perspective. She conjectures that though humor seems out of place when talking about difficult experiences, laughing with friends helps to diffuse the pain. “With your friends, you can have fun together and talk about normal things. You laugh, and it makes you happier – you can return to a more normal feeling quickly. Not every moment has to be terrible. If you can’t laugh, you’re limiting yourself.”

hear, hear!!! I'm still looking for info on how to age with grace, wisdom and HUMOR/GOOD ATTITIDE. I cam e across this on the Stanford University website.

Indian summer

it's a warm evening and I opted not to walk because i don't like to sweat. Pete and I walked last night for an hour, briskly, and it was cool and I sweated. The crickets are in full song outside and it sounds like summer, except that at 8:30 the sun has been down for a while, so it's not summer in Northern California. It's Indian Summer. The stars were beautifully brilliant last night, and as we were walking in the dark we found ourselves alone on the trail. An owl flew low over our heads, looking for all the world like a dinosaur. BIG! We heard the bells ring at St. Mary's College a mile down the road. It was 8:00... we counted. We noted a powerful bad smell on our way up the trail and on the way back, I remembered, ah, there was a dead baby deer right on the side of the trail. I'd seen it the day before when i took Danny the Dog for a walk. My experts guess that a coyote had gotten it. In the dark we hadn't spotted it. We are part of an ecosystem alright. We came home and took showers and climbed into our comfy beds. I'm glad our species has these things. I'm also grateful for the chance to walk around the habitats of other creatures. and to see the beautiful oak trees silhouetted on the hillsides, black against the barely lit sky. Our world is beyond beautiful. Exquisite? Magical? It is good.

our lady of sorrows

I have a friend whose son has had a lifetime of heart problems. From the minute he was born, he has endured one invasive surgery after another. She, of course, has been with him every step of the way. One story she told though reveals to me the importance of celebrating Mary's role as one who has suffered. Linda had joined a women's Bible study group and had shared one session that she could identify with Mary,the mother of Jesus, at the foot of the cross. She had stood at the foot of her son's hospital bed and witnessed his pain and suffering, not knowing how much more he could take. As she spoke, she began to cry. What surprised her was that not one of the women made a gesture to comfort her. No one was able to reach out to her in words or body to connect with her. She said it was the loneliest experience. Hearing her story made me feel very badly. It made me sad for Linda, but it also made me feel sympathy for the women in the group who likely had never experienced anything like Linda has, and did not know what to do in this moment of Linda's agony. Enter, Mary. For Linda and for other women friends of mine, Mary is the one they can turn to when the sorrow is too much for others to share. Mary has been there. Linda prays the rosary. For a mother who has come close to losing her son many times, it is a life line as Mary has helped her stand at the foot of the cross. (Linda's son has just finished a masters degree in Biblical Studies in Denver and is teaching. He still spends time in the hospital, but he'll celebrate his 27th birthday in May.)

feast of the holy cross

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son,so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him. John 3:16
I remember being a little girl, third grade maybe, so 7 yrs old or 8, and kneeling at a school mass probably on a Friday and looking up at the cross and crying. No one saw me or noticed me, but I remember it because it was a moment of awareness. In that moment, as I gazed upon the man on the cross, I saw love. It overwhelmed me. and it still does. Today on this feast day of the Holy Cross, I will find a crucifix and invite that love to heal me. I'll also be looking for ways that that love is spent every day all around me in the ways that people do for others.

sept. 11, 2009

In honor of those who lost their lives in Pennsylvania, New York, and at the Pentagon on September 11, 2001 : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttwJpPMSzBc Thank you to all those who have reached out to the survivors, nurses, therapists, teachers, friends and musicians and singers. In thanksgiving for the healers and the Great Healer.

september 10, 2009

But rather, love your enemies and do good to them, and lend expecting nothing back; then your reward will be great and you will be children of the Most High, for he himself is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. Be merciful, just as also your Father is merciful.
“Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap. For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you.” from Luke's gospel from today's readings.

I've wondered sometimes how anyone can be merciful, if they haven't been on the receiving end of mercy. I remember one of my first experiences of mercy. My sisters and I were late for the bus in Columbus, Mississippi. I was maybe a first grader which would have made me 5 or 6 years old. My mother was no doubt upset with us, because if we missed the bus, we weren't going to school that day. I seem to remember that she was still in her bathrobe when she got us to the bus. Anyway, I remember CLIMBing on to the bus and crying hard. A big girl, atleast a third grader, pulled me in to her seat, put her arm around me and said comforting words. She poured third grade love all over me! and because I was in need of comfort, I soaked it in. I've often thought about that little girl. Her kindness was a life line for me. Then I knew what mercy was... I hope that she has had that measure of kindness in her life too.

the birthday girl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjKnHAKtYFA We celebrated my mother in law's 80th birthday tonight with dinner out at one of her favorite restaurants on the bay. It was a lovely family evening with all of her children, respective spouses, grandchildren and even a few great grandchildren. I would say that she subscribes to this song... always generous with all of us. God bless Jacqueline Claire Hayes.

loch lomond and discernment

from Luke's gospel: Then he said to them, “The Son of Man is lord of the sabbath.” Jesus is explaining to the authorities why it's okay for his disciples to be picking grain on the Sabbath. He reminds them that Moses had pulled a stunt like that once taking bread intended only for the priests in the house of God. He concludes with the statement above. I guess if the Son of Man is hungry that takes precedence over the sacred rite. Jesus is really rocking the boat now. It's easy for any of us to get sidetracked about what's important from what's really important, isn't it? and that discernment takes serious soul searching.

image of the invisible God

"Brothers and sisters: Christ Jesus is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation." from the letter to the Colossians. Depending on your source, Paul may not be the author of this letter, likely written at the end of the 1st century. The firstborn of all creation? More and more I find myself interpreting Scripture as if it were poetry. It helps to play with the ideas of words like "firstborn". What is my understanding of firstborn? (new beginning, miracle, life is never the same again for the parents!, what else?) and then to imagine that Christ is the firstborn of ALL CREATION! This is quite a statement! was this an idea floating around the ancient world: that gods were described in these terms? and if so, does that necessarily diminish the impact or truth of this idea? What is this really saying to ME? That Jesus of Nazareth brought to the world a profoundly new understanding, or truth, to mankind. That he WAS the new truth. We are unconditionally loved ...no strings attached.

let us put out into the deep

...lines from the gospel reading for today, this feast of St. Gregory the Great, 6th century bishop of Rome. "Let us put out into the deep". Jesus instructs his disciples as they are fishing. Where in my life do I need to put out into the deep?

Trust

" like a green olive tree in the house of God, Trust in the mercy of God forever and ever." (from Psalm 52, from today's liturgy) I like this image of a tree in the house of God. and not just any tree, but a green olive tree. I'm not sure at all what the psalmist was saying here. but like poetry it probably says more than what I can glean, but perhaps what it does say to me is still valuable.

I have my own associations with green olives, but I believe I've heard that for people of the psalmist's time and place olives and olive oil were life enhancing foods. Without it life would have been paltry. So, there sits the olive tree in the house of God.. providing shade for people who've come to pray, a resting place for birds, offering its fruit for picking. Those things are gifts and speak of a merciful God, a God who cares about his creation... us.. and provides for it. Is the tree trusting in God... ? it's just being a tree and doing what olive trees do...

Olive trees are pretty too... it's branches are graceful and hmmm, isn't an olive branch a symbol of peace. That sounds pretty merciful.