build her up

I'm wondering about women in the Catholic Church... as much as there is a begrudging acknowledgement that women are critical to the mission of the Church, it seems that for this Catholic woman, that my presence is more a source of irritation for the male leaders I encounter. What is that about? What is the meaning of what seems to be? (I think I was offered that question when I was at JFK Univ. years ago!) I'm feeling the need to go back to the wigwam and to hang with my sisters and get reminded of my own worth. I'm thrown back, like so many women through the ages, into the TRUTH of my worth and into the most important relationship there is... my own with the Creator. Is it important to stay with the question though: what is the meaning of what seems to be? and what must I do? (I found this pic of the little blue light we lit for Tommy when we were in a small chapel in Bagnoles de L'Orne in Normandy last October.... answered prayer: he has found his path, for now, a job with NRDC.)

remember me

Remember me? I'm the one who... packed up my belongings and said goodbye to my family and drove to the airport and got on a plane and flew to a strange place and was given orders to do my part for the war effort. I was doing "my duty". There IS no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends. Today I remember: Sr. Airman Jake Yelner, USAF, Capt. Joseph Flynn, USN, Lt. Col. Robert W. Riegel, USAF , Maj. Jennifer Johnson, USAF, Capt. Roger Johnson, USAF (ret.), Col. Brian Robinson, USAF (ret.), Maj. Robert B. Riegel, USAF. These are the ones I will remember today. I honor their sacrifices and thank God for them. I especially pray for Jake's mother and family, and all of the families who are grieving today for a loved one lost in war.

the month of mary

finding a lost thing

I'm remembering an exact moment when I was little when I'd lost a ring that I had been given. I was devastated. Forlorn and despondent. I kept those feelings to myself, but they were there completely enveloping every cm of my heart. I looked with every ounce of attention and focus I could muster and to no avail. I'm remembering that moment now, why? It did turn up and the joy I felt then could have lifted me off the ground and carried me all the way to heaven. Literally! ( Maybe that's what caused the Ascension and the Assumption!) Anyway, why remember that now? because lost things sometimes are found. St. Anthony, pray for us!

Holy Spirit

When I was little, like third grade, which means eight years old... my mother had me learn how to play the organ so that I could play for the school masses at Immaculate Conception Catholic School in North Little Rock, Arkansas, where we lived for a while. I remember the trepidation I felt when the priest would line up in the back of the church with the altar boys (no girls allowed) getting ready for the procession to start and I would have to put my fingers and feet to the organ to make music and everyone would start singing. Once I started playing, there was no turning back. It truly was an out of body experience. I don't know that I ever threw up, but it would have been reasonable given how I felt. Maybe the Spirit helped through it... maybe my meager music practicing helped. Maybe I should have practiced MORE. This would have been approximately 1965. I love listening to this version.. almost 40 years later. This is worth a listen. Beautiful. http://x.imeem.com/FiLiuZADtN

billy boy

I can not believe it... Billy is gonna graduate from college. And he did it almost all on his own. Billy has been independent from the minute he was born. Existentially, the message I got from B was : Everything is fine, Mom, and if you could just leave me be, we'll all be happy. Low maintenance-boy, that's B. From our lips has often sprung: "Billy is the BEST." And he is,. and not just because he requires v. little from his parents, but because he is so solidly a good person. I'm so glad that this summer he'll be in the Bay Area doing an internship with Lockheed-Martin in Sunnyvale. We'll get to see him! and as He Said in his Mother's Day card, we "can take care of him." I can't wait!

tommy is twenty four

Life is sweet with Tommy. With him, we are always "among friends". Happy Birthday, T!

camper's delight

We're going to miss Robbie!!!!

Robbie is going to work at a camp on Catalina Island this summer. This is the effect he has on people. Can I just climb in your lap, Robbie, and suck my thumb? or can I just climb on your back, and you carry me around? or can I just lean on you? Since R doesn't like talking on the phone, or e-mailing, it makes it tough when he's not physically around. So, I'm just saying it now and probably a lot more, WE WILL MISS YOU ROBBIE! and we'll miss your wisdom, your good spatial and decorating sense, and your HUMOR and your cooking and your strength. and your willingness to play anything, cards, tennis, Risk, Settlers of Catan. I guess it is time we shared you.

Let us Pray

This has been a week of letting go and saying goodbye. My parents returned to their home on Monday after a short visit. "Until we meet again." There was the funeral for our young airman on Tuesday. "A life snuffed out too soon." News about the execution in Georgia. "Respect Life." And reminders of the torture at Guantanamo perpetrated by our people. "Geneva Convention." Our third son took a job on Catalina Island for the summer so he will not be home. Pete listened to an economist in Sacramento ask the question:"Why are we building more prisons, paying prison guards $75,000 starting salary, and paying a starting teacher in our decaying public schools, half that?" Letting go of people and letting go of illusions about what passes for leadership... and again, I ask, what can I do? As my youngest said, once when he was about 4 years old, "Mom, mumembah? Pray? God?" With age comes forgetfulness, but also, comes enough losses and disappointment that one finally has to resort to the only One who ultimately cares and can do anything about it. Let us Pray.

a native son comes home

Sr. Airman who lost his life in Afghanistan due to a roadside bomb came home today. He was flown in from Travis AFB to Buchanan airport in Concord this morning at 11:30 a.m. His parents and his only brother were there to greet his body. An Air Force honor guard was there to lift the casket and carry it to the waiting hearse. A group of half a dozen veterans were there to hold American flags as the casket was marched past the small group of family and friends. The military members stood at attention and saluted. The civilians stood quietly with hands over hearts and those who had served in the military saluted as his flag draped casket went by. His mother, who was being held up by her younger son and by a dear friend, blew kisses. Is there any way sufficiently appropriate to honor the life of a native son, 24 years old, whose life was taken by a weapon like an IED? Let us all remain "semper fi" to the covenants into which we have entered. What else can we do? Commend his soul to God.