on the edge

I'm on the edge of something... an insight about my life as a military man's daughter. "Men's violence toward women"... mentioned in Women in Black's statement about themselves. Violence. There are all kinds of violence.. and I have negative reactions to some sorts of violence, but then I perpetuate them myself. For example, in the use of language, I may use "strong" words and frighten my listener. I'm interested in learning about non-violent speech and have resisted buying a book I saw on the subject. Why resistant? Because as I become more conscious, there's a chance that there will be created a greater divide between me and those around me. Then I might judge. That's the greatest violence I think I commit against others. Is there a path through this? I can invite God into this desire or, as one of my mentors suggests, name the intention at the beginning of my day. Then, check how I did at the end of the day.