Today was a busy enough day. Pilates in the a.m. BART to the City to SFMOMA to see an exhibit with John. Met Pete for lunch and then home again. Talked to Robbie on Skype. I didn't do any food planning or prep. Didn't do any home maintenance although I cleaned up one corner of my bedroom. Dust covered photo albums from 25 years of parenting. Now no longer dust covered and I was afforded a few trips down memory lane as I peeked at some of the years with our boys. Brand new babies.. meeting them each for the first time. Billy's sweetness, Robbie's fun, John's adorableness and Tommy's beauty! What can I say? Too good to be true. So, why am I feeling down and out. Because they are all leaving us... Pete and I are trying to figure out: now what? I honestly don't care about much of anything else but them. and I know that there is a whole lot of life left without them in our midst. I will feign interest in other things... quilts, reading, museums, hiking, maybe swimming, ... but my heart will always be with them. A friend just called to exclaim over Ch. 9 in Barbara Kingsolvers' book, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, where she talks about the beauty of a home with home cooked meals. What does the cook do when there are only a few people for whom to cook? Metaphorically, that is the issue for us in many ways. Where are we going to put our energies that have heretofore gone into feeding four baby birds?
1 comment:
That is EXACTLY how I felt 3 years ago when Joe was in 10th grade and Katie was leaving. Well, John is coming back, Katie IS back and Joe never wants to leave!! All for different reasons. And I feel bad that they have to be around me so much. Isn't that crazy? I don't want to hold them back from growth. But then, they're my favorite people...really conflicted feelings.
Post a Comment