that smile

How can I resist smiling when I see John's smile? Here he is being driven to the prom last Saturday. What does that face say to you?

"that this Jesus the Nazorean will destroy this place and change the customs that Moses handed down to us."All those who sat in the Sanhedrin looked intently at him and saw that his face was like the face of an angel. " from the Acts of the Apostles, with reference to Stephen. Whoa, this struck me reading the first reading from the liturgy for today. I know too where Stephen was headed. He was the Church's first martyr. I hate even thinking about it. BUT, what I want to focus on is what happens when a person stands up and speaks truth to status quo. The established institution of that day (and the die hards) were unsettled by the words of the disciples. They were expressing powerfully the message of Jesus... love one another. Oh, but NO. We 're not comfortable with that. It's easier (I'm guilty of this too big time) to hang our hats on the rules and the man made laws and condemn. That holds us up somehow. and it means we dont' have to care about our neighbor. Maybe too we have our own internal rules that give us comfort and a compass. But, when the rules interfere with our ability to feel compassion for others (and ourselves) then we're on the road to Emmaus without our Lord. Been there, done that... most of my life. Change our hearts of stone...

we forgot the corsage

we were scrambling to get John into the layers of his outfit all polished and shiny so we forgot the sweet white roses wrist corsage in the fridge because we were running late. we didn't discover the mistake til we were almost to Mary Anne's house and by then it was too late to turn back. Aarrgh. Our mistake was not spending enough time during the day getting ourselves ready. It turned out to be quite an evening, beginning with a little fender bender on Treat Blvd. in Concord on their way to meet the "party bus". John wasn't the driver... the two of them were passengers. There were other unexpecteds in the evening, but the events and the names have to be withheld to protect identities. This will be a memorable event though for John and Mary Anne. I remember these dances as kind of surreal. I was unaccustomed to getting dressed up, parading on a boy's arm, attached for the evening supposedly, posing for pictures, asked to shake my booty on the cafeteria linoleum. I'll stop there. All to what purpose? I ask you! Season 9, episode 12 of Seinfeld, Jerry expresses what many of us feel about dances. For me, these events are as familiar as branding cattle or riding a mini bike. Once is enough! John's got two more to go though. Jr. Prom and his own Senior Ball. He'll have a basis for comparison. What do you remember about your prom?

just wanna share

we do want to share. these roses grew in my very own backyard. Meet Abraham Darby! and he/they even smells sweet. There are dozens of them on the bush, which I didn't prune this winter. Uh oh. Don't know what happens when you don't even prune the bush. So, Pete and I are trying to figure out what we're gonna do, right? Get involved is one answer. I know that if I pray with all my might, God will point us in the right direction. Yep, that's what I'm gonna do. Time to stop thinking about it and open myself up to ... love/wisdom/truth/God.

down and out

Today was a busy enough day. Pilates in the a.m. BART to the City to SFMOMA to see an exhibit with John. Met Pete for lunch and then home again. Talked to Robbie on Skype. I didn't do any food planning or prep. Didn't do any home maintenance although I cleaned up one corner of my bedroom. Dust covered photo albums from 25 years of parenting. Now no longer dust covered and I was afforded a few trips down memory lane as I peeked at some of the years with our boys. Brand new babies.. meeting them each for the first time. Billy's sweetness, Robbie's fun, John's adorableness and Tommy's beauty! What can I say? Too good to be true. So, why am I feeling down and out. Because they are all leaving us... Pete and I are trying to figure out: now what? I honestly don't care about much of anything else but them. and I know that there is a whole lot of life left without them in our midst. I will feign interest in other things... quilts, reading, museums, hiking, maybe swimming, ... but my heart will always be with them. A friend just called to exclaim over Ch. 9 in Barbara Kingsolvers' book, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, where she talks about the beauty of a home with home cooked meals. What does the cook do when there are only a few people for whom to cook? Metaphorically, that is the issue for us in many ways. Where are we going to put our energies that have heretofore gone into feeding four baby birds?

Easter Monday

The Easter Bunny came to our house. Look what John found! He didn't have any competition this year. It wasn't as much fun without Robbie competing aggressively for the most eggs. I don't know, I still like the fun of any kind of hunt (except the real animal hunting kind). Scavenger hunt, treasure hunt, egg hunt. In fact, I should make up hunts for people when they come to my house all the time. Find the Bathroom Hunt. Guess What's For Dinner Hunt. Find your Own Glass Hunt. No, seriously, hunts for something fun. but people would probably get bored or tired of my hunts because I would run out of creativity (quickly) and it would be old hat. Speaking of searching...Pete and I were talking today about how we need to be looking for ways that the Spirit is talkin' to us. So, we challenged eachother tonight: where did we see the Spirit today? we each came up with something. It was like a treasure hunt! Reflecting on the events of the day and seeing, yes, God was there in a phone call with a friend, in a visit from a dear old friend, in sitting and having lunch with John. Truth be told, I'm noticing too that we're enjoying a bit of post game win atmosphere. We're kinda worn out and deeply happy. HE IS RISEN! GOD WINS!! LOVE IS ETERNAL!