November 27, 2012 Tuesday
The readings from the scripture today are a little harrowing. I likened the Sunday readings upcoming to the kind of dread of childbirth. Especially if one knows from a previous baby what to expect, the descriptions in the book of Revelation don't seem that outrageous. They seem pretty spot on.. it's going to be cataclysmic!! So, get ready, the author says. Nothing is like childbirth... and every woman , unless she's been anesthetized, recalls the experience in living color. It is an out of body experience. maybe the definition of such. Nothing is ever the same again... and the process itself is so powerful that one feels especially grateful to have survived it.. So, I'd like to liken the anticipation of this year's celebration of Christ's birth to the anticipation, the dread and fear, of the overwhelming miracle of birth.  The anticipation is awesome... awe inspiring. Let the anticipation begin! I don't know why this doesn't post on my blog...

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Let all who worship the Lamb, come to the Feast... or something like that. Ane stand erect, holding your heads high... from the gospel. Scenes from the Book of Revelation... of destruction and devastation, but that is only for what is not worthy of us human beings. Babylon... that crazy city where all kinds of abominations were happening. So, my take on this is: keep awake and alert to the good, do good and stand in awe of God's blessings, and stand ready to respond to the call and to participate in life. The Pineapple Express is coming through the Bay Area and while there are mild temperatures, things are moving.. the air, the clouds and the sun is somewhere up there, obscured by the moisture in the sky. Rain later today. There is an air of expectancy that comes with this for me. Is it ironic that I lost my credit card? Hmmm. I'll ponder this...

May 16, 2012 Wednesday

Make my faith new! "We should praise God, our Lord, and Christ and the Holy Spirit for all that they have done and do for me and all of creation. The part that caught me: praise God for making me in his own image, a child of God. that one always catches me... to be reminded that I am more than my pettiness, my jealousies, my small thinking. I am also other than my strengths, which are in fact given on loan. "I will praise you Lord, I will praise you Lord, in the assembly of your people, your people, in the assembly of your people, your people, I will praise you Lord." I was caught recently by a painting I saw in Phoebe Hearst's Anthropology Museum at CAL. It was called "Evening Chant" and it was a painting of Native Americans seated and standing together singing with faces upturned to the sky as the sun set. It evoked that sort of praise of the Divine Creator. I discovered another song recently in a book Pete gave me, called Gloryland.   I'd met the song years ago when I was a young Girl Scout. It is in fact a negro spiritual... "way beyond the blue" expressing the hope, the knowledge that one day we will be saved from this life. So, I'm thinking I need to sing more and sing my praises to the Lord. The end. Going to find a songsheet I stole from church, wink.

saturday, January 7, 2011

The day after the calendar feast of the Epiphany and the day before the Church celebrates the feast of the Epiphany on Sunday. I walked our wise men/kings from one end of the book shelf to the manger scene yesterday morning. The walk was like the walk that I used to move Barbie across a floor or the Little Tikes people when I played with our boys' toys. Something in the gesture of tapping the bottoms of these plastic creatures tiny step after tiny step across the wood of this shoulder high book shelf finally reaching the place a few inches away from Mary and her baby and from the (in my imagination) smelly stable where the donkey and the cow rest near the holy family... evoked a quick series of sensations and thoughts. The smells of the place. The effort required of the three kings as they traveled to this place on camelback. The yearning of man throughout history for a Savior. The magic and miracle of seeing truly for the first time the tiny infant, newborn fresh from eternity .. a gift to us here already on earth. The joy of discovering for the first time the miracle of a child.. an awareness that this child is extraordinary.. and will reveal truth to us. about who we are.. children of God, all of us. Part of me wonders: does a child absorb or ingest on a spiritual level the hopes and dreams of its parents and its community. Does a child sense the deepest desires of its mother and father and then live into those dreams? and if a child is fed, emotionally, spiritually, physically and psychologically, does that child then have the freedom to embody and live out those yearnings and that vision? I know better than to credit the human family for all of its children's choices. There is the divine spark within each of us that inspires us to unique responses to the moment by moment callings. I'll call that God.. cuz that works for me. Back to the stable.. and the awestruck three kings... how lovely for Mary and Joseph to have company, and to have them admire their baby. How affirming to have the older generation seek out their child and discover in their very own child, baby Jesus, their hope fed. AS one priest said in this mornings video reflection: now the feast may begin! (The reading for today was about Jesus turning the water into wine at the wedding feast.) That little baby grew up to be that miracle worker... so that we could have endless joy.

Sunday, November 27

Good morning! It is a quiet day. The fog is in and the birds are staying quiet. I guess they are saving their voices until the air is warmer and dryer. Pete and I are staying quiet too. Two boys are still sleeping and we respect sleep: the great healer. Last night, I started feeling very empty and blue. I could feel the panic creeping back up. I told myself though this time that no, I'm not going to allow it to take over. And asked instead: what is my latest thought? That the boys are leaving again. And I am bereft. So, I challenged the thought with this one: oh, how lucky we are to have them had the home for thanksgiving! And what a great hike we had up in the marshes of suisun on Friday, and how nice it was to be with the family! In four weeks we will be all together. To celebrate Christmas . Look to the light, Katie ! To the light! Challenge the melancholy thoughts... I owe so uch to the brave women I know who have lived by this dictum..this season of advent I hope to be companioned by an ever growing light in anticipation of Christmas and I will pray for others who I know are similarly seeking light in their lives. "shine I our hearts, shine in the darkness...Christ be our Light!"

The gift of each day

Today is November 25th, a Friday , and the Friday after thanksgiving day. Today. It is all we have. In the past three- fourvmonths, I have experienced some significant losses that drive that truth home. To speak of them, particularly In writing seems unholy. A dear sister-like friend left this world in early October, my college roommate and friend learned that she her cancer has spread, and our baby moved away to college. At the same time i have experienced a breakdown...physical, emotional, psychological,spiritual. In this same time frame, I've enjoyed so much life too! Time with old friends, real conversation, deep prayer, cirque de soleil!, been on the receiving end of so much kindness, having learned some new life giving tools: meditation, fasting, more interior quiet. I have seen so many healers! A physical therapist, a behavioral cognitive therapist, my GP, my OB/Gyn., my chiropractor, the emergency room twice, my spiritual director, a friend who is studying the Twelve Steps, many women friends who generously shared their stories of living with an aging/changing body. I feel like I am in the middle of a dust devil or a storm. Hence the need for the interior stillness. I am so thankful for all who have helped me to seek that quiet with helpful tools like meditation . And always for Pete, who travels this path with me .. Lovingly and patiently. Thanks be to God.

monday, august 15th, feast of the assumption

Today is my sister in law's birthday and the Feast of the Assumption. One of the reflections I read this morning about this feast says that in the Book of Revelation there is a woman clothed in glory caught in the battle between good and evil. Mary personifies our humanity and in her relationship to her beloved son, she is closer than any of us to the source of our salvation. Her YES to motherhood and to the truth of her son's life, complete with suffering and death, was a supreme act of love. Many many mothers act out this generosity every day. The lucky child who has a mother who recognizes his/her unique and unrepeatable genius. Surely Jesus had that mother. Wouldn't it be funny though, if Mary had been the kind of mother who really didn't GET her child and who often found herself scratching her head and wringing her hands wondering what's with this kid? I'm inclined though to credit Mary with loving Jesus in just the way that allowed him to see clearly, to be free, (free enough to hearken himself to the call of God) , and to be fearless. I know too from experience that all mothers depend on their communities to foster a healthy environment for growing children. Today we celebrate a success story: a woman who raised her child to be a lover of humanity, one whose life was poured out in service to individuals in need of healing and wisdom and truth. Thank you Mary! Today I pray for all mothers who seek to love their children like Mary did her son. and maybe too I'll pray to recognize Mary as my own mother who loves all of us... a mother's love.