June 10, 2011

My parents have been married 55 years today. I'm almost 55 years old and I can say that that is a lotta years. In today's gospel, Jesus asks Peter "Do you love me?" and Peter says "You know that I love you." and after three times asking Peter the same questions and Peter acknowledges that yes, he does love our Lord, then Jesus says: Feed my sheep. Peter would go on to spread the good news and in the end was a martyr in Rome. I wonder if Peter ever fished again? or if he abandoned that livelihood and depended on others to feed him as he worked to establish communities of believers. Pete and i met a young woman at the BART station Wednesday night. She had an enormous green backpack on her back and a day pack on her front and looked confused. She was looking for a shuttle that would take her to Amtrak. She had just flown in from Mexico, had taken BART to the Embarcadero in San Francisco, and despite the name -did not provide the embarkation place for her journey. So we tried to help her find her way.. and accompanied her across the Bay on BART to the Oakland City Center stop, where we wished her well.. and advised her to take a taxi if there was no shuttle there. She was headed to Klamath Falls. I hope she made it. Does that count as "feeding my sheep"? It felt like it.. and in the end, as she stepped off of the train, she said with the sweetest sincerity: "Love and Light to you both!" Amen. (Photo: Breton Bay at sunset, May 29, 2011)

June 9, 2011, Thursday

Pictured: the view from my grandparents' and now my sister Jennie's home taken May 29, 2011.
We saw "The Tree of Life" last night in San Francisco. It was a mindbender. I think I need to see it again and again. In order to fully appreciate and see the artistry of the filmmaker, I need to see again the images and listen to the whisperings and the music and the very minimal dialogue. I had a personal experience of "the tree of life". Pete and I were walking through Muir Woods a year ago or so. There was a light mist..we were wearing our raincoats. Along the wooden path we stopped to admire a circle of redwoods to our right just off the trail. The trees in the middle were the lowly remnants of once "parent" trees. Around them soared the offspring of these trees. It hit me in a flash that we, Pete and I , are like those trees in the middle, who started something with our children. We will diminish as they grow tall and strong. We will die and they will flourish and the cycle will continue. In that moment, I received this as a gift.. that while sometimes I am bereft at
"losing" the boys, the truth is much bigger than that.. that I am a part of a living story that will continue and that we have done our parts and that we remain fixed in that ground together as parents of our children... nothing will change that. When Tommy was born one miracle that struck me then was that this newborn would be OURS forever. He was OURS. to love and to cherish. I was cemented (planted) now in time forever. and the tree of life continues to grow.

friday, june 4, 2011

We're still in the Easter season. Not sure how many days til Pentecost. Had some glimpses this past month of Church coming together to celebrate God's action in our life. Tommy's birthday party at his house, John's volleyball team, John's class at De La Salle, both at the baccalaureate mass and at graduation, our family's graduation party for John, John's team banquet, our nephew's wedding in Virginia, our great niece's baptism in Fairfax... with numerous meals with friends and family scattered in between. I know I'm missing some things. So much to celebrate.. God with us.

I had a thought one day.. about how amazing we creatures of God are. I shared this thought with a woman I drive to visit her hospitaled husband. We were driving along and it just bubbled up:"If you think about it, we are really amazing. The fact that we do what we do every day is amazing." and I had this sense, which I'm not sure I communicated, that we are ablaze with magnificence. We radiate wonder. I think that's how God sees us! every cell of our being is bursting with love and life, both gifts intended to share. Don't you think that's amazing?

feast of St. Matthias, replacement for Judas, May 14, 2011

Pictured: my 98 yr old grandmother, Irene, and my sister, Alison.

Today's gospel reading from John's gospel . .. the part that catches me? "as I love you." What does that look like? Oh boy.

Jesus said to his disciples:

“As the Father loves me, so I also love you.
Remain in my love.
If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love,
just as I have kept my Father’s commandments
and remain in his love.

“I have told you this so that my joy might be in you
and your joy might be complete.
This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.
No one has greater love than this,
to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
You are my friends if you do what I command you.
I no longer call you slaves,
because a slave does not know what his master is doing.
I have called you friends,
because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father.
It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you
and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain,
so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you.
This I command you: love one another.”

April 11, 2011 Monday

MONDAY, APRIL 11, 2011

April 11, 2011 Monday

Only one more week of Lent left before Holy Week. Thanking God for this time set apart for quiet and paying attention. Where is my heart? Where is my mind? Friday and Saturday of this week we spent a lot of time in a gymnasium down in Santa Clara. We watched a lot of really good volleyball. At one point, though, I noticed hanging on the wall, high up on the gym's wall hung a crucifix. A little anachronistic in that room full of people and flying volleyballs, sweat and game play calling. It looked like Jesus was there up high doing his thing.. dying.. while we all carried on with this pursuit. I think Jesus wore a blue loin cloth. So he stood out a little more than the usual all flesh and earth tones. There he was quietly dying high up on the gym wall. But what he was doing? was pouring out God's love on all of us. as we watched and played volleyball on a blustery Saturday afternoon at Bellarmine High School in San Jose, California. One of John's friends said,"Hey, what's that?" referring to the crucifix. It worked!

springtime in the desert

Lent has begun. Finally. After a free for all think nothing about it do whatever I want stretch, it is time to get back to basics. I'm gonna try to love God with my whole heart, my whole mind and my whole self. Try. Simplify life.. ferret out those things that don't really sustain life, my life, the life of the Spirit, the life of the people I meet and those I live with. Like too much food, alcohol, overindulgence of any kind... and distractions that are clearly distractions, like too much silly television or silly conversation about stuff that doesn't matter.. or worse, talk about gossipy stuff. Prayer, almsgiving and fasting. One thing that helps me is to think of Jesus in the desert for 40 days.. For some reason, this year I'm able to tap into a desire to be with him. I can imagine sitting with him, walking around with him as He struggles with demons.. the same ones we do. It makes me sad to think of him there in the desert all alone and so I'll try to be there too. I know I'll fail, but this time around I really want to try. I'll get lazy, distracted, selfish, scared, hungry... but right now, anyway, I'm eager to go there with him. and meet the one he called Daddy who desires my company too. I'm so glad that there are others traveling with me as I try to be in the desert. Thank you, fellow pilgrims! I sense your solidarity and it is so fortifying.

March 1, St. David's Day acc. to Welsh Amy

one of the many ways you know you are middle aged is that you notice and appreciate the fact that the days are getting longer. The earth is warming up with minutes more sunshine each day and the green life of the bulbs are sprouting and the Buckeye tree has leaves on it. Danny the Dog and I walked the trail today and soaked up the blue sky and white whisps of cloud and the birds and voles popping their heads up too through the ground into the air.