city of light and life

on a pilgrimage.. to a city of light and life. I love the idea of a pilgrimage. To set out on foot especially to find a treasure, not knowing what that treasure will be exactly, but confident that there is some to be found. While bathing, Pharoah's daughter found a Hebrew baby floating in a basket in the river. Jesus found the people of Bathsaida unreceptive to his call. (today's gospel rdg. from Matthew). What will I find today in my travels? I discovered the male and female parts of our zucchini plants this morning (after a tutorial from the horticulturist at the nursery yesterday) and now know that if we don't have insects pollinating the flowers, then we have to do it ourselves. We can use a paintbrush to transfer pollen from male to female. I'd rather the bees did it, but our shriveled vegetables might need our help. We're playing with the drip system too which wasn't delivering the right amount of water to our plants. Our travels through our days are no less spectacular or significant than the stories of those in Scripture... and I like being invited to think of them in that light. God is present in all of our life.... am I present to that truth?

another monday

and another "Just Joey" rose blooming in our back yard. The readings from today are full of brutality. The Israelites are being forced into slavery in Egypt in the first reading from Exodus. The first born sons have been ordered to be killed by the Pharoah. In the gospel from today (Matt. 10:34-11:1) Jesus is spelling out further what it means to be his disciple. It means going against what is our comfort in order to love others. This gospel is troubling for me and always has been because Jesus says: "Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth.I have come to bring not peace but the sword.For I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother,and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;and one's enemies will be those of his household." WHAT? Therein lies the trouble! While we call it Good News, this gospel tells us that we can expect real struggles in our efforts to follow the spirit of love. The interior struggle to rise above my weaker self sounds like seriously bad news, but there is an up side. My experience, though small as it is, is that when I have made a sacrifice out of love, when I've risked "persecution" out of love, when I've done the countercultural act, out of love, then there is a consequent buoying of spirit that makes me feel alive and maybe even MORE alive. Then it feels like I'm living in the flow.. How do you understand the words of Jesus?

memorial of st. benedict

July 11, 2009.. Amy Hayes' birthday. Feast of St. Benedict, who lived around 500 and who established an order of monastic living based on his "Rule" which outlines a system for holy living for laymen. I've read parts of the Rule, and this one part caught my attention. One talked about community living and the need for forgiveness always. Recognizing that the brothers would aggravate one another, Benedict spoke as a loving father to his children... seeking to encourage them to "get along"... that they must practice forgiveness all the time. I remember reading that section and marveling at his clear seeing.. that one of the truths of community living, whatever that community looks like, is that people are bound to chafe with such proximity to different people. Benedict was pragmatic! .. and that in order for peace to reign, individuals had to practice forgiveness over and over again. He described a situation where two of the brothers are responsible for the kitchen duties one week, and one works more slowly than another, and yes, how aggravating that could be... that brother is NOT GOING TO CHANGE. So, practice patience and forgiveness. I found this in a lovely little book,Praying with Benedict, by Sr. Katherine Howard, a Benedictine sister who teaches at College of St. Benedict's in St. Joseph, MN. "One of the regular ways for repairing broken bonds and restoring harmony was the twice daily recitation of the Lord's Prayer by the abbot. This was done during the divine office and according to Benedict's own directions:

Assuredly, the celebration of Lauds and Vespers must never pass by without the superior's reciting the entire Lord's Prayer at the end for all to hear, because thorns of contention are likely to spring up. Thus warned by the pledge they make to one another in the very words of this prayer: Forgive us as we forgive (Matt 6:12), they may cleanse themselves of this kind of vice. (Rule, 13.12-13) "

So today, I ask God to bless Amy on her birthday and to bless our community that we take up the Lord's Prayer and Benedict's encouragement to love one another.

take no tunic

Princes Garden, Edinburgh, May 30, 2009.


Jesus tells the disciples in chapter 10 of Matthew's gospel: keep on keepin on. Take the good news and share it, but don't waste time with people who won't listen. Sunday's gospel described Jesus' experience going home to his kin, and how there he and his msg were not received. Here we get a glimpse of what Jesus found as he revealed his own truth. Ouch. He gives his disciples a heads up that they will encounter both apathy and hostility. Keep on keepin on. It must have been discouraging for the followers to discover that what they experienced as the good news was NOT to other people. Kinda like sharing with someone your love for a great movie only to find that either they are not inspired by what you love OR they downright disliked your film choice. Ohhhhh. I just read the dedication or quote at the beginning of The Razor's Edge: "The sharp edge of a razor is difficult to pass over, thus the wise say the path to Salvation is hard." - from the Katha-Upanishad. Does it really have to be so hard? For me, yes. In this moment, I'm aware that there is always the invitation to be willing to see that my ways are not God's ways. What am I being invited to see today? in particular within my own family and those close to me?

nobody reads my blog

I just looked at the blog of a friend of mine. She is a writer and is published in different magazines and she's even written a book and had it published. I'm now suffering from envy. I think that is a bad thing. I enjoy her writing and she writes about a lot of the same things I write about. How come nobody reads my blog? Is it that I don't advertize? Maybe I'll recommend that she read mine and give me feedback... since she's a writer, right? yeah, that's what I'm doing... and it doesn't matter that I wrote this in my blog, BECAUSE NOBODY READS IT ANYWAY. I'm laughing right now... and it makes me happy to laugh.

freeing theology

ooh, a theology that frees... or a theology that is free. Both are nigh impossible, because only God can free, really, I believe. We can really only see as in a mirror darkly. When we see Him, we shall see clearly. In what ways are we particularly blinded these days? Look around! who are those who are marginalized? who and what parts of US are not invited to the table? I'm reminded of dinner tables. Who does all the talking? What topics are forbidden? What is not talked about are those things that culturally and personally we are not prepared to cope with. So we don't acknowledge or welcome parts of US. The rules are more or less established and we maintain a civility for everyone's comfort, rather than extend a genuine love. Within each family, there are acceptable norms, often rooted in personal comfort levels. As we become more comfortable with more of US, more parts of us, then we can accept who ever comes to the table. Who and What are we not receiving at the table? Is there a consequence that is unfavorable?

milkin' it

We're not going anywhere in the month of July. Well, not any where outside of the Bay Area. So, I feel I must milk our Scotland trip for all its worth. Pete and I here are shown on the ferry from Oban to the Isle of Mull. It was a glorious ride, 45 minutes through mist and sunshine, clouds and breeze. It was like a Disneyland ride, but better. Along the way we saw a lighthouse, more little islands, castle ruins, and I can not exclaim enough about the sky. Maybe the quality of the light at that latitude? I don't know. There were happy tourists sprinkled about the ferry, including a few schoolaged children, darting around the deck taking in the different views. Delightful!! Can you tell I'm savoring the memory?