time to say goodbye

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbN0g8-zbdY Most years the New Year creeps up on me and I am caught. I haven't had time to reflect back on the year I am about to leave. Wait! Because I have such a poor memory, I am grief stricken at the realization that I will forget the life I've lived over the last 12 months. I want to remember: the people in my life, the places I've been, the events.. well, I'd love to be able to remember every moment. Maybe that's my definition of heaven: every moment suspended in eternity to be cherished in its sublimity. "Just to be is a blessing, just to live is holy." That is a blessing the boys always picked for our dinner table prayer, because it was the briefest one in our book of graces. I guess I'm grateful now that they picked that one over and over again, because I can recall it. Even though this song sung by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman is poignant and makes me think about saying goodbye to this year, I think I'll entertain the notion of saying goodbye, but I'll also know that all that I don't remember is held in trust by God for me... time is not ALL we have.

december 24, 2009

From the gospel of Luke: "In the tender compassion of our God the dawn from on high shall break upon us, to shine on those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death, and to guide our feet into the way of peace.” In the practice of lectio divina, or holy reading, we're invited to note what in the text jumps out at us. Ask yourself the question: did a line or phrase or single word grab your attention? Recognize that in the word or phrase that God might be present to you. Sometimes I read the text and nothing grabs me. But, today, these last words in Luke's gospel reading grabbed me. I think I'll try to remember this phrase today...

monday, four days til Christmas

What to do to prepare at this point? When I was a first time mother the preparation for the baby was thorough and energetic. There was still an urgency with our fourth. Every baby deserves clean diapers, clean clothes and bedding, a clean house. what else? a safe carseat and stroller. A comfy infant seat. a baby bathtub. The rubbing alcohol and q-tips for the umbilical cord. baby washcloths and towel. Changing table. Well, atleast half of the items on that list aren't mandatory. What does a newborn need? a mother. and someone to love the mother. An older generation to love the new family. According to the story of Mary and Joseph, there was this cast of characters... a mother, a father, and grandparents. Remember Anne and Joachim? Going back though to the child's mother and little family community. Had this family any idea what child this was they were about to meet? None. Praying for all expectant mothers.. that they may anticipate with joy the miracle about to enter their lives and for those who love her and the new child. and for all of us who anticipate Christmas... that joy will spring in our lives as we invite that Light who seeks a home in our lives. Check out this youtube video:
Pregnancy and Baby Portraits by: Mary Ann Halpin Photography

december 18, 2009, friday

One week til Christmas. It's been 10 days since my last posting. I have missed this part of my spiritual practice. Writing is an important way for me to gain access to what I know. As in, deeply know. It's been foggy and grey here lately in our neck of the woods. My relatives in VA have posted pictures of their 9 inches of snow and counting. They are all housebound. An insurmountable excuse to stay home and do nothing. We here in the lowlands of CA seldom if ever have that excuse. I remember being in North Dakota and being housebound during blizzards. There's nothing like it!

december 9, 2009

from Isaiah: "Do you not know or have you not heard? The LORD is the eternal God, creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint nor grow weary, and his knowledge is beyond scrutiny. He gives strength to the fainting; for the weak he makes vigor abound. Though young men faint and grow weary, and youths stagger and fall, They that hope in the LORD will renew their strength, they will soar as with eagles’ wings; They will run and not grow weary, walk and not grow faint." This sounds like the dreams of young boys. I remember the boys talking about super powers when they were younger.... "Mom, if you had a super power, what would it be?" I said "heal people"... which I think disappointed. Their ideas were things like: being able to travel invisibly through walls or to slide instead of walk. Now, as their ideas about God or no God percolate, I think, wow, if they could only take Isaiah's word for it... if one is buddies with God, then you can "run and not grow weary"! Why am I worried about them? I should be worried about my own faith. O, Holy One/Great Healer, help me tie on my virtual stethoscope and listen to the heartbeat and the breathing of those around me. Amen. I love the idea of walking through walls and sliding down, what street, you name it... .Market Street in San Francisco? South Lucile Lane to the bike path?

when do the lion and the lamb sit down together?

Okay, I'm getting anxious. I'm ready for the lion and the lamb to sit down together. Does that happen soon? Thankfully, I do not live in or move in circles where there is a lot of conflict. Physical, political, social or familial. But, I am aware that coming out of the Bush years I was aware of a polarization in the political sphere. In the realm of the Church, there is a deep division between the far right and the liberals, if those terms can be used in connection with the Church. I remember when Obama was elected I vowed that I would do more to be a positive force. Seeing the effort that would be required to address the many issues the country faced, I felt that it was the least I could do but to step up a little more and seek higher ground somehow. I really didn't know how that was going to happen. Sometimes i can not see how in the world the differences can possibly be reconciled. I'm not sure still. But, with Christmas coming, with our hope in the incubator, so to speak, I can not help but be hopeful that the Light of the World, who lives within all God's people, will prevail. So be it.

Isaiah

Today's readings are familiar ones. Isaiah: "On this mountain the LORD of hosts will provide for all peoples a feast of rich food and choice wines, juicy, rich food and pure, choice wines. On this mountain he will destroy the veil that veils all peoples, the web that is woven over all nations; he will destroy death forever. The Lord GOD will wipe away the tears from all faces; ..." The second reading is taken from the psalms: Psalm 23-"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. In verdant pastures he gives me repose; Beside restful waters he leads me;he refreshes my soul. Even though I walk in the dark valley I fear no evil; for you are at my side with your rod and your staff that give me courage. You spread the table before me in the sight of my foes; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Only goodness and kindness follow me all the days of my life; And I shall dwell in the house of the LORD for years to come." The gospel is taken from Matthew 15:29-37 At that time: Jesus walked by the Sea of Galilee, went up on the mountain, and sat down there. Great crowds came to him, having with them the lame, the blind, the deformed, the mute,and many others. They placed them at his feet, and he cured them. The crowds were amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the deformed made whole, the lame walking, and the blind able to see, and they glorified the God of Israel.
Jesus summoned his disciples and said,“My heart is moved with pity for the crowd, for they have been with me now for three days and have nothing to eat. I do not want to send them away hungry, for fear they may collapse on the way.” The disciples said to him,“Where could we ever get enough bread in this deserted place to satisfy such a crowd?” Jesus said to them, “How many loaves do you have?” “Seven,” they replied, “and a few fish.” He ordered the crowd to sit down on the ground. Then he took the seven loaves and the fish, gave thanks, broke the loaves,and gave them to the disciples, who in turn gave them to the crowds. They all ate and were satisfied. They picked up the fragments left over–seven baskets full."

I read a story this morning on Beliefnet.com about two Air Force officers stationed at Bagram AFB in Afghanistan. Witnessing the poverty in Afghanistan, they devised a way to elicit help from Americans. Each rallying the fans of their alma maters, they are collecting warm clothing, shoes and school supplies. Longhorn fans at Arlington are now competing with the Oklahoma Sooner fans for the greatest amount of aid for Afghanistans in need. Cool idea, huh?

I'm reminded of a hymn we sing:

Awake from your slumber! Arise from your sleep! A new day is dawning for all those who weep. The people in darkness have seen a great light. The Lord of our longing has conquered the night.
Refrain: Let us build the city of God. May our tears be turned into dancing. For the Lord our light and our love has turned the night into day.

God bless this first Wednesday of Advent.